Life Lesson

A lot has changed since the last time I blogged. I guess i'll just get the obvious out there first just for the sake of being able to read this years from now and remember my experience.
A couple weeks ago I moved out of my room in the house and into a room outside the house in the garden. It is the most gorgeous room ive ever seen in my life literally. It's hard to describe, but when you are in the room its like being inside and outside at the same time. You can hear the wind and the animals. There a pleants growing from outside into the room. It was a tool shed, but Hazel (the owner of the house) turned it into a room. Its Indian themed, there are beautiful rugs and fabrics covering the floors and walls of the room, there is gorgeous Indian art work, my door is glass so the sun shines right through, and as soon as you step outside my door you are in our gorgeous garden. The room has a very sacred and spiritual feel to it.
I have been wanting to move into this room for a very long time but it has always been occupied. Surprisingly the man that was living in the room before suddenly had to move out, so the room became available and I jumped right on it!
To be honest, my move into the room started out on a bad foot. I got a text from Hazel while I was at work one day saying that the room I wanted had suddenly become available. But unfortunately, although she never goes into our rooms, she was going to have to move all of my stuff out of my old room and into my new room while i was at work because someone was coming for my old room in just a couple hours. After reading that text I could feel my blood begin to boil. I was pissed! I stepped out of work for a moment and went to cool off. I took some deep breaths and began to monitor my emotions. Anger is not a pure emotion, it is secondary. It comes when you are feeling an extreme of another emotion such as hurt, guilt, rejection etc. So after some deep cleansing breaths and contemplation I realized that my anger had nothing to with Hazel. I've learned that in these situations in life you must always dig deep and find the reasons in you past experiences for your extreme emotional reactions because usually it has nothing to do with the person you are "angry" at, and everything to do with your own experience. I realized that what was happening was that all my previous experience with forced moving and people coming in while you are not home and moving your stuff which is such a blow to your privacy was coming up. I was taking all of my "anger" from those past experiences and allowing it to combine and then explode on this current situation and on Hazel who was just trying to do me a favor by giving me the room ive been wanting before someone else came and took it. As soon as I realized that I prayed about it, took some deep breaths and exhaled all of that negative energy, anger, and left-over emotion from past experience out into the universe where I allowed it to dissipate. I then inhaled all the love and forgiveness I could and felt it as it moved into my nose and then through my entire body. I came home and apologized to Hazel and pat myself on the back for breaking another pattern and moving one step closer to level of purity and love I want to reach in my life.
I lived happily in my room for about 3 nights before I made a HUGE mistake. I got too comfortable, and didn't listen to my inner spiritual guidance that was trying to lovingly speak to me. Now please understand that I do not believe in fault. I believe in responsibility wholeheartedly but I don't believe in placing fault. Anyway, it was a Friday night and Hazel, all my housemates, Mpho, and I went to go listen to a Marimba band playing in town. We got home at around midnight so Mpho just slept over. When we walked into my room I closed my door and put my keys on my night stand. As I laid my keys down my inner guidance softly, gently, and swiftly told me to lock my door. But, because I have to go outside to use the bathroom and I pee like a hundred times per night I decided to keep it unlocked so I can easily come back and forth to the bathroom. Mpho and I got into pj's, said a quick prayer, then laid in my bed and went to sleep. For maybe the 3rd time in my entire life I did not have to get up one time to use the bathroom. But at 6:20am I heard a noise, opened my eyes and saw a man standing over my bed. He quickly reached over, grabbed my computer which was right next to my bed, slammed it shut, and ran out. By the time I was fully alert and realized what had happened my computer was gone. It all happened so fast. When I opened my eyes I remember saying sleepily "someone's in my room" but it wasnt until he slammed the computer shut that I fully woke up and began to scream. I was totally in shock. I started to run after him, but quickly decided that that was a horrible idea as he may have been armed or had other men out there waiting for him. So, I sat there in shock and confusion as Mpho woke up and tried to figure out what the hell was going on.
Now, here's what is strange about the situation: In order to get into our garden this man had to break into our neighbor's yard which is protected by a very tall gate, choose not to break into her big beautiful house, somehow climb on top of her roof without a latter or anything, hop from her roof to our roof, come into our garden, walk past our huge 6 bedroom house that was UNLOCKED and filled with laptops, dvd players, cell phones etc but choose not to go in. He then had to pass the other room in the garden where 2 huge dogs that bark when they hear a car coming from a block away, but whom were absolutely silent this night, choose not to go into that room, go around a wall that conceals my door, quietly jiggle open my doorknob (its screwed on wrong so its hard to open) still without the dogs hearing, and come into my room. Some of you arent going to like this, but guys, this didnt happen by accident. I believe there was some sort of divine intervention. It was Life trying to teach me a huge lesson. On 4/21/2010 I wrote in my journal:
"I love my new room. Its so peaceful and serene and pure. Its weird to see my laptop in here lol. It looks like it doesnt belong. Technology just doesnt blend in to this room. I should leave my laptop in the house and use the time in my room for meditation and reading."
The next day 4/22/2010, after a hard day at work I wrote:
"I learned a very hard lesson today. I learned that no matter what I must TRUST and LISTEN (these words are capitalized in my journal not just here) to my "Ori", my internal spiritual guidance. It will not lead me astray."
Now the thing about life is, it will teach you lessons then present you with situations to test you and see if you've really learned the lesson or not, obviously I had not. I ignored my internal spiritual guidance and therefore, my laptop was stolen.
In addition to that lesson I have learned that we have to protect the "things" that we value. My laptop was the most valuable material thing that I owned and I did not protect it. So from this experience I learned what happens to the your valuables when you dont protect them: they get stolen. I had an epiphany. We tend to not protect our valuables. Im talking about things like our purity, our integrity, our friendships, our quite time, our time with family etc, so consequently people come and steal them away from us while we are not alert, while we are "sleeping". It is only afterwards that we realize what happened and ask ourselves questions like "Why is my relationship with my family so messed up? Why am I so stressed? Why am I so lonely? When did I stop taking time to pray? Wat ever happened to the good old days? Why is it so hard for me to hug my sister? Why am I still so angry with my mother/father? Why did I sleep with him/her? Why does what she said to me hurt so badly? etc etc etc. Guys, take it from me so you dont have to learn this lesson as painfully as I did: PROTECT the 'things' you value. Remember what/who is important in life. If you don't anyone can just come into your life while your not looking and take those things/people/memories/etc away from you and it will hurt.
Love and Light,
Nonceba