So at the end of my last post I said I would blog as soon as I received my congratulations letter. That did not happen, however you had to be hiding under a rock to not hear the great news. I told everyone I know. Which means that all of you beautiful people are already well aware. But, for blogging's sake (and simply because I love the way it sounds) let me repeat: I, Brittanie Richardson, am a recipient of the Ella Lyman Cabot Trust Grant. Now, im sure anyone who was to recieve this grant would be ecstatic, however I have to steal a few lines of this post to explain why in the world this means so much to me.
You see the last time I was in South Africa God and I had a little talk. It was the day that I went to the school for the first time and saw the vision of myself and all the kids around me and heard a voice from inside of me say "this is what you are supposed to be doing". That night I went home to the guest house I was staying at and I prayed. I prayed one of those conversation prayers though, you know the ones where you just really level with God and talk to him like he's your best friend? Well, yeah, I prayed one of those. I told Him how much I loved the work I did that day at the school. I thanked Him for the vision I recieved and told Him that I would absolutely love to see it come to pass. I said that I understood that He was calling me back to this particular country to work at this particular school with these particular kids. I commited myself to that calling and promised do all I could to make it come to pass. Above all of that though, my prayer was a prayer of surrender. I confessed to God that although I wanted so badly for this to come to pass I had no idea what to do to make it happen. How in the world could I afford to come back to South Africa alone and create a theatre program?!? I couldnt. So I surrendered it all to God. I said "Lord, if this is your will please provide for me". I put all my trust in God to make my dream come true. For the first time in my life ever I totally surrendered to God. I had absolute faith in this matter, unshakable faith that God would make a way for me. So I started saying to people "Im moving to South Africa to do drama work with children infected or affected by HIV/AIDS". I moved from my apartment in Philly and sold all of my furniture and most of my other belongings to prepare for my move to South Africa. I moved back home to Atlanta so I could live with my grandfather for free as I payed off bills to prepare for my move to South Africa. I set a date and secured a plane ticket to prepare for my move to South Africa. I had made my mind up, I was moving to South Africa.
But, if you took a look at my bank account it didnt look as if I was moving to South Africa. It looked like I was barely staying above water right where I was. I started a fundraising campaign with my dear friend Justin called "Art for Africa". The first fundraiser was held in Philly and I was sure that I would raise the bulk of the money then. The week of the event I did a 3 day fast where I prayed to God for $10,000 from this fundraiser. I invited loads of popular, and more importantly RICH Philadelphians. I invited the presidents of all the local universities, chairmen on every arts counsil around, the board members from all the local theatres, all of my college professors and UARTS connections, EVERYONE! But on the night of the event the room was filled with homeless people from the shelter I worked at (I told them they could come for free for obvious reasons) and my friends who had come to support me. Other than that there were only 2 other women there who had actually come because they had recieved an invitation. At first glance I thought the night was going to be a bust. How the hell was I gunna raise $10,000 from a room full of homeless people and college students?! But that night turned out to be one of the best, if not the best, nights of my life. All of the performers whom were all performing for free put their whole heart into their performances. They were all so incredibly beautiful! The love in the room that night was almost tangible. Two of my kids from the shelter made a speech and they did such an amazing job. The food was great, the people were great, the atmosphere was great, the art was beyond great. By the end of the night there was not a dry eye in the room. Everyone was so moved and inspired. It was absolutely perfect. So at the end of the night I realized that maybe the reason for that event wasnt to make $10,000 after all. Maybe it was simply a night for some people who really needed it to get together and experience God's love. The same thing happened at every other "Art for Africa" fundraiser I had. I never raised that $10,000, but every event was absolutely beautiful and people left feeling loved, inspired and full of joy.
So even after the last fundraiser and even as I was packing my bags to come here I never lost the faith. I never got discouraged. I kept believeing that God's word was true and that He keeps His promises so I believed that I would be getting that $10,000. Three months later not only did He bless me with ten, He blessed me with $20,000! Its just really a testiment of His faithfulness in my life. The grant writers said that because I've never written for a grant before I needed to write ten proposals in order to recieve one. I wrote one and got it. They also said that the grant makers would only give me half of what I asked for so I asked for $20,000 hoping to recieve $10,000. I recieved every penny of the $20,000 I asked for. That is called favor! God absolutely granted me favor with that Board of Trustees. There is no other way to explain it. He was in that room. He made the decision and it came to pass. So this whole thing just proves to me that when I actually just surrender to God and believe him to be everything that He says He is, He will protect, love and provide for me. That is such a comforting thing to know! The love I feel and the absolute faith that I now feel is just so much greater than what I have previously experienced. And the great thign is that even though this money will eventually go away, eventually be all used up, God never will be! No matter what counrty im in or what im doing He stays the same and will still love, protect and provide for me as long as I believe. Now this my friends, is humbling, conforting, exciting, awe-inspiring news so I just wanted to share it with you.
This was supposed to be a much longer blog about many mroe things but Hazel wants her computer back now so I gotta go.
Love and Light,
Nonceba
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
The Circle of Life
Rain, rain, go away!! It is officially winter so it is raining like crazy in Cape Town these days! And the thing about rain here is that is always brings friends: heavy wind and bitter chill. Now remember my room is outside so I have no escape from the weather. So me, the rain, and the cold have done some intense bonding over the last week. As annoying as it is for me to stand in the pouring rain and heavy winds as I wait for the bus in the mornings, and as cold as my bed is every night no matter how many blankets I have, there are some things that I absolutely love about this weather. I LOVE laying in my bed at night and listening to the rain. The sound is so loud in my room. Its like being caught in a rain storm and hiding under a tree for shelter. I can see and hear the rain all around me, but I don't get wet. I love it. It's absolutely beautiful.
Although summer is my favorite time of year and I could sit in the sun at the beach my entire life and be totally happy, I do have respect for winter. I do not enjoy it, but I respect it. Winter is a time where things die and are washed away in preparation for the next season of growth. I don't know the verse off of the top of my head, but somewhere in the bible it talks about old things being washed away and all things becoming new. In order for the new, for the next stage of growth to come, some "old" things have to die. That's just the way God intended it. Unfortunately, I learned this all to well this week.
My week was amazing with the kids. As I said in my last blog the orphanage has unfortunately fallen apart since the owner has been in the hospital so most of the kids have vanished, but my work with the kids at the school has been going great!! Sadly, this week is my last week with them because they start exams next week and then go on break for June and July. So after tomorrow I have about 2 months off from work. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself for 2 whole months!
So because its the last week the kids have been working on their final skits for me all week. They have been going really great! There are 4 groups. Each group picked a topic then created, directed, and performed their masterpieces. Tomorrow we are having a last day celebration and they will perform the final products then. I am so excited to watch them! They worked so hard on them and as I've been coaching each skit I have seen the drastic improvement. It brings so much joy to my heart!
However, when I came to work on Monday I got some really upsetting news. One of my children, a young boy, had passed away. Apparently he was not only HIV positive, he had AIDS, and I didn't even know it. He seemed perfectly healthy. He was always running around and doing Micheal Jackson dance moves and volunteering to participate in my demonstrations. I mean he was FULL of life, and then just like that, over the weekend, he is gone. I cant even really describe the feeling that I get when I think about it. I am still kind of in shock. It happened so quickly. The whole situation is just really, really sad.
So yesterday, Tuesday, the school staff held a prayer meeting at the boy's home which of course Natalie and I attended. The funeral is on Saturday. The school has rented a bus to transport us and all the 7th graders to the cemetery after the funeral, but the ceremony will be held at the home as well. As I was sitting in the prayer meeting I was looking around at this boy's home. It was just a tiny little shack handmade from tin and a few wooden planks. It was barely standing up. The wholes in the ceiling were stuffed with grocery bags and other trash to keep the rain out. The "beds" were mattresses on the floor, we had to bring in benches with us to sit on, and the closest toilet was over a block away. I couldn't help but think "My God, these are no ordinary middle class children i'm teaching here". I kept thinking about all I teach them about having big dreams and holding your head up high and using your full voice and using up the entire space on the stage... as I was looking around I just realized how foreign that all sounds to them. I am so hard on them about holding their heads up high when it is physically impossible for them to do so in their own homes! I tell them to use their entire bodies and the entire stage space when they are used to sleeping with multiple people in one bed and trying to take up as little space as possible! My point is: THESE KIDS ARE WORKING HARD!! They are stepping outside of everything they know to succeed in my class. That thought really humbled me. It made me feel as though what i'm teaching them is really making a big difference in their lives. It's opening doors for them and showing them a world they might not otherwise have known exists. I am just so thankful to be able to provide that for them. And as I said before this is the season (literally) for death so that we can prepare for growth and new life in the future. So I am trying not to let my child's death get me down too much, im trying to just remember that its just God making space for all the new and great things He has in store. I was so blessed to have my precious little angel with me for 2 joy-filled months and now I have to focus on creating more and more joy-filled days, months, and hopefully years with the 39 precious angels I have left and hopefully the many more that are to come.
Also, speaking of the good things that are to come, THIS SATURDAY is the day that the Board of Trustees from the Ella Lyman Cabot Trust have their meeting where they decide on who gets the grant money. They will inform us of their decision next week!! Please say a special prayer for me on Saturday that God blesses me with favor so the Board will choose me! WHEN i get my letter of congratulations I will Blog about it right away!
Happy mothers day mothers! Love and light to you all!
"Nonceba"
Although summer is my favorite time of year and I could sit in the sun at the beach my entire life and be totally happy, I do have respect for winter. I do not enjoy it, but I respect it. Winter is a time where things die and are washed away in preparation for the next season of growth. I don't know the verse off of the top of my head, but somewhere in the bible it talks about old things being washed away and all things becoming new. In order for the new, for the next stage of growth to come, some "old" things have to die. That's just the way God intended it. Unfortunately, I learned this all to well this week.
My week was amazing with the kids. As I said in my last blog the orphanage has unfortunately fallen apart since the owner has been in the hospital so most of the kids have vanished, but my work with the kids at the school has been going great!! Sadly, this week is my last week with them because they start exams next week and then go on break for June and July. So after tomorrow I have about 2 months off from work. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself for 2 whole months!
So because its the last week the kids have been working on their final skits for me all week. They have been going really great! There are 4 groups. Each group picked a topic then created, directed, and performed their masterpieces. Tomorrow we are having a last day celebration and they will perform the final products then. I am so excited to watch them! They worked so hard on them and as I've been coaching each skit I have seen the drastic improvement. It brings so much joy to my heart!
However, when I came to work on Monday I got some really upsetting news. One of my children, a young boy, had passed away. Apparently he was not only HIV positive, he had AIDS, and I didn't even know it. He seemed perfectly healthy. He was always running around and doing Micheal Jackson dance moves and volunteering to participate in my demonstrations. I mean he was FULL of life, and then just like that, over the weekend, he is gone. I cant even really describe the feeling that I get when I think about it. I am still kind of in shock. It happened so quickly. The whole situation is just really, really sad.
So yesterday, Tuesday, the school staff held a prayer meeting at the boy's home which of course Natalie and I attended. The funeral is on Saturday. The school has rented a bus to transport us and all the 7th graders to the cemetery after the funeral, but the ceremony will be held at the home as well. As I was sitting in the prayer meeting I was looking around at this boy's home. It was just a tiny little shack handmade from tin and a few wooden planks. It was barely standing up. The wholes in the ceiling were stuffed with grocery bags and other trash to keep the rain out. The "beds" were mattresses on the floor, we had to bring in benches with us to sit on, and the closest toilet was over a block away. I couldn't help but think "My God, these are no ordinary middle class children i'm teaching here". I kept thinking about all I teach them about having big dreams and holding your head up high and using your full voice and using up the entire space on the stage... as I was looking around I just realized how foreign that all sounds to them. I am so hard on them about holding their heads up high when it is physically impossible for them to do so in their own homes! I tell them to use their entire bodies and the entire stage space when they are used to sleeping with multiple people in one bed and trying to take up as little space as possible! My point is: THESE KIDS ARE WORKING HARD!! They are stepping outside of everything they know to succeed in my class. That thought really humbled me. It made me feel as though what i'm teaching them is really making a big difference in their lives. It's opening doors for them and showing them a world they might not otherwise have known exists. I am just so thankful to be able to provide that for them. And as I said before this is the season (literally) for death so that we can prepare for growth and new life in the future. So I am trying not to let my child's death get me down too much, im trying to just remember that its just God making space for all the new and great things He has in store. I was so blessed to have my precious little angel with me for 2 joy-filled months and now I have to focus on creating more and more joy-filled days, months, and hopefully years with the 39 precious angels I have left and hopefully the many more that are to come.
Also, speaking of the good things that are to come, THIS SATURDAY is the day that the Board of Trustees from the Ella Lyman Cabot Trust have their meeting where they decide on who gets the grant money. They will inform us of their decision next week!! Please say a special prayer for me on Saturday that God blesses me with favor so the Board will choose me! WHEN i get my letter of congratulations I will Blog about it right away!
Happy mothers day mothers! Love and light to you all!
"Nonceba"
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Life Lesson
A lot has changed since the last time I blogged. I guess i'll just get the obvious out there first just for the sake of being able to read this years from now and remember my experience.
A couple weeks ago I moved out of my room in the house and into a room outside the house in the garden. It is the most gorgeous room ive ever seen in my life literally. It's hard to describe, but when you are in the room its like being inside and outside at the same time. You can hear the wind and the animals. There a pleants growing from outside into the room. It was a tool shed, but Hazel (the owner of the house) turned it into a room. Its Indian themed, there are beautiful rugs and fabrics covering the floors and walls of the room, there is gorgeous Indian art work, my door is glass so the sun shines right through, and as soon as you step outside my door you are in our gorgeous garden. The room has a very sacred and spiritual feel to it.
I have been wanting to move into this room for a very long time but it has always been occupied. Surprisingly the man that was living in the room before suddenly had to move out, so the room became available and I jumped right on it!
To be honest, my move into the room started out on a bad foot. I got a text from Hazel while I was at work one day saying that the room I wanted had suddenly become available. But unfortunately, although she never goes into our rooms, she was going to have to move all of my stuff out of my old room and into my new room while i was at work because someone was coming for my old room in just a couple hours. After reading that text I could feel my blood begin to boil. I was pissed! I stepped out of work for a moment and went to cool off. I took some deep breaths and began to monitor my emotions. Anger is not a pure emotion, it is secondary. It comes when you are feeling an extreme of another emotion such as hurt, guilt, rejection etc. So after some deep cleansing breaths and contemplation I realized that my anger had nothing to with Hazel. I've learned that in these situations in life you must always dig deep and find the reasons in you past experiences for your extreme emotional reactions because usually it has nothing to do with the person you are "angry" at, and everything to do with your own experience. I realized that what was happening was that all my previous experience with forced moving and people coming in while you are not home and moving your stuff which is such a blow to your privacy was coming up. I was taking all of my "anger" from those past experiences and allowing it to combine and then explode on this current situation and on Hazel who was just trying to do me a favor by giving me the room ive been wanting before someone else came and took it. As soon as I realized that I prayed about it, took some deep breaths and exhaled all of that negative energy, anger, and left-over emotion from past experience out into the universe where I allowed it to dissipate. I then inhaled all the love and forgiveness I could and felt it as it moved into my nose and then through my entire body. I came home and apologized to Hazel and pat myself on the back for breaking another pattern and moving one step closer to level of purity and love I want to reach in my life.
I lived happily in my room for about 3 nights before I made a HUGE mistake. I got too comfortable, and didn't listen to my inner spiritual guidance that was trying to lovingly speak to me. Now please understand that I do not believe in fault. I believe in responsibility wholeheartedly but I don't believe in placing fault. Anyway, it was a Friday night and Hazel, all my housemates, Mpho, and I went to go listen to a Marimba band playing in town. We got home at around midnight so Mpho just slept over. When we walked into my room I closed my door and put my keys on my night stand. As I laid my keys down my inner guidance softly, gently, and swiftly told me to lock my door. But, because I have to go outside to use the bathroom and I pee like a hundred times per night I decided to keep it unlocked so I can easily come back and forth to the bathroom. Mpho and I got into pj's, said a quick prayer, then laid in my bed and went to sleep. For maybe the 3rd time in my entire life I did not have to get up one time to use the bathroom. But at 6:20am I heard a noise, opened my eyes and saw a man standing over my bed. He quickly reached over, grabbed my computer which was right next to my bed, slammed it shut, and ran out. By the time I was fully alert and realized what had happened my computer was gone. It all happened so fast. When I opened my eyes I remember saying sleepily "someone's in my room" but it wasnt until he slammed the computer shut that I fully woke up and began to scream. I was totally in shock. I started to run after him, but quickly decided that that was a horrible idea as he may have been armed or had other men out there waiting for him. So, I sat there in shock and confusion as Mpho woke up and tried to figure out what the hell was going on.
Now, here's what is strange about the situation: In order to get into our garden this man had to break into our neighbor's yard which is protected by a very tall gate, choose not to break into her big beautiful house, somehow climb on top of her roof without a latter or anything, hop from her roof to our roof, come into our garden, walk past our huge 6 bedroom house that was UNLOCKED and filled with laptops, dvd players, cell phones etc but choose not to go in. He then had to pass the other room in the garden where 2 huge dogs that bark when they hear a car coming from a block away, but whom were absolutely silent this night, choose not to go into that room, go around a wall that conceals my door, quietly jiggle open my doorknob (its screwed on wrong so its hard to open) still without the dogs hearing, and come into my room. Some of you arent going to like this, but guys, this didnt happen by accident. I believe there was some sort of divine intervention. It was Life trying to teach me a huge lesson. On 4/21/2010 I wrote in my journal:
"I love my new room. Its so peaceful and serene and pure. Its weird to see my laptop in here lol. It looks like it doesnt belong. Technology just doesnt blend in to this room. I should leave my laptop in the house and use the time in my room for meditation and reading."
The next day 4/22/2010, after a hard day at work I wrote:
"I learned a very hard lesson today. I learned that no matter what I must TRUST and LISTEN (these words are capitalized in my journal not just here) to my "Ori", my internal spiritual guidance. It will not lead me astray."
Now the thing about life is, it will teach you lessons then present you with situations to test you and see if you've really learned the lesson or not, obviously I had not. I ignored my internal spiritual guidance and therefore, my laptop was stolen.
In addition to that lesson I have learned that we have to protect the "things" that we value. My laptop was the most valuable material thing that I owned and I did not protect it. So from this experience I learned what happens to the your valuables when you dont protect them: they get stolen. I had an epiphany. We tend to not protect our valuables. Im talking about things like our purity, our integrity, our friendships, our quite time, our time with family etc, so consequently people come and steal them away from us while we are not alert, while we are "sleeping". It is only afterwards that we realize what happened and ask ourselves questions like "Why is my relationship with my family so messed up? Why am I so stressed? Why am I so lonely? When did I stop taking time to pray? Wat ever happened to the good old days? Why is it so hard for me to hug my sister? Why am I still so angry with my mother/father? Why did I sleep with him/her? Why does what she said to me hurt so badly? etc etc etc. Guys, take it from me so you dont have to learn this lesson as painfully as I did: PROTECT the 'things' you value. Remember what/who is important in life. If you don't anyone can just come into your life while your not looking and take those things/people/memories/etc away from you and it will hurt.
Love and Light,
Nonceba
A couple weeks ago I moved out of my room in the house and into a room outside the house in the garden. It is the most gorgeous room ive ever seen in my life literally. It's hard to describe, but when you are in the room its like being inside and outside at the same time. You can hear the wind and the animals. There a pleants growing from outside into the room. It was a tool shed, but Hazel (the owner of the house) turned it into a room. Its Indian themed, there are beautiful rugs and fabrics covering the floors and walls of the room, there is gorgeous Indian art work, my door is glass so the sun shines right through, and as soon as you step outside my door you are in our gorgeous garden. The room has a very sacred and spiritual feel to it.
I have been wanting to move into this room for a very long time but it has always been occupied. Surprisingly the man that was living in the room before suddenly had to move out, so the room became available and I jumped right on it!
To be honest, my move into the room started out on a bad foot. I got a text from Hazel while I was at work one day saying that the room I wanted had suddenly become available. But unfortunately, although she never goes into our rooms, she was going to have to move all of my stuff out of my old room and into my new room while i was at work because someone was coming for my old room in just a couple hours. After reading that text I could feel my blood begin to boil. I was pissed! I stepped out of work for a moment and went to cool off. I took some deep breaths and began to monitor my emotions. Anger is not a pure emotion, it is secondary. It comes when you are feeling an extreme of another emotion such as hurt, guilt, rejection etc. So after some deep cleansing breaths and contemplation I realized that my anger had nothing to with Hazel. I've learned that in these situations in life you must always dig deep and find the reasons in you past experiences for your extreme emotional reactions because usually it has nothing to do with the person you are "angry" at, and everything to do with your own experience. I realized that what was happening was that all my previous experience with forced moving and people coming in while you are not home and moving your stuff which is such a blow to your privacy was coming up. I was taking all of my "anger" from those past experiences and allowing it to combine and then explode on this current situation and on Hazel who was just trying to do me a favor by giving me the room ive been wanting before someone else came and took it. As soon as I realized that I prayed about it, took some deep breaths and exhaled all of that negative energy, anger, and left-over emotion from past experience out into the universe where I allowed it to dissipate. I then inhaled all the love and forgiveness I could and felt it as it moved into my nose and then through my entire body. I came home and apologized to Hazel and pat myself on the back for breaking another pattern and moving one step closer to level of purity and love I want to reach in my life.
I lived happily in my room for about 3 nights before I made a HUGE mistake. I got too comfortable, and didn't listen to my inner spiritual guidance that was trying to lovingly speak to me. Now please understand that I do not believe in fault. I believe in responsibility wholeheartedly but I don't believe in placing fault. Anyway, it was a Friday night and Hazel, all my housemates, Mpho, and I went to go listen to a Marimba band playing in town. We got home at around midnight so Mpho just slept over. When we walked into my room I closed my door and put my keys on my night stand. As I laid my keys down my inner guidance softly, gently, and swiftly told me to lock my door. But, because I have to go outside to use the bathroom and I pee like a hundred times per night I decided to keep it unlocked so I can easily come back and forth to the bathroom. Mpho and I got into pj's, said a quick prayer, then laid in my bed and went to sleep. For maybe the 3rd time in my entire life I did not have to get up one time to use the bathroom. But at 6:20am I heard a noise, opened my eyes and saw a man standing over my bed. He quickly reached over, grabbed my computer which was right next to my bed, slammed it shut, and ran out. By the time I was fully alert and realized what had happened my computer was gone. It all happened so fast. When I opened my eyes I remember saying sleepily "someone's in my room" but it wasnt until he slammed the computer shut that I fully woke up and began to scream. I was totally in shock. I started to run after him, but quickly decided that that was a horrible idea as he may have been armed or had other men out there waiting for him. So, I sat there in shock and confusion as Mpho woke up and tried to figure out what the hell was going on.
Now, here's what is strange about the situation: In order to get into our garden this man had to break into our neighbor's yard which is protected by a very tall gate, choose not to break into her big beautiful house, somehow climb on top of her roof without a latter or anything, hop from her roof to our roof, come into our garden, walk past our huge 6 bedroom house that was UNLOCKED and filled with laptops, dvd players, cell phones etc but choose not to go in. He then had to pass the other room in the garden where 2 huge dogs that bark when they hear a car coming from a block away, but whom were absolutely silent this night, choose not to go into that room, go around a wall that conceals my door, quietly jiggle open my doorknob (its screwed on wrong so its hard to open) still without the dogs hearing, and come into my room. Some of you arent going to like this, but guys, this didnt happen by accident. I believe there was some sort of divine intervention. It was Life trying to teach me a huge lesson. On 4/21/2010 I wrote in my journal:
"I love my new room. Its so peaceful and serene and pure. Its weird to see my laptop in here lol. It looks like it doesnt belong. Technology just doesnt blend in to this room. I should leave my laptop in the house and use the time in my room for meditation and reading."
The next day 4/22/2010, after a hard day at work I wrote:
"I learned a very hard lesson today. I learned that no matter what I must TRUST and LISTEN (these words are capitalized in my journal not just here) to my "Ori", my internal spiritual guidance. It will not lead me astray."
Now the thing about life is, it will teach you lessons then present you with situations to test you and see if you've really learned the lesson or not, obviously I had not. I ignored my internal spiritual guidance and therefore, my laptop was stolen.
In addition to that lesson I have learned that we have to protect the "things" that we value. My laptop was the most valuable material thing that I owned and I did not protect it. So from this experience I learned what happens to the your valuables when you dont protect them: they get stolen. I had an epiphany. We tend to not protect our valuables. Im talking about things like our purity, our integrity, our friendships, our quite time, our time with family etc, so consequently people come and steal them away from us while we are not alert, while we are "sleeping". It is only afterwards that we realize what happened and ask ourselves questions like "Why is my relationship with my family so messed up? Why am I so stressed? Why am I so lonely? When did I stop taking time to pray? Wat ever happened to the good old days? Why is it so hard for me to hug my sister? Why am I still so angry with my mother/father? Why did I sleep with him/her? Why does what she said to me hurt so badly? etc etc etc. Guys, take it from me so you dont have to learn this lesson as painfully as I did: PROTECT the 'things' you value. Remember what/who is important in life. If you don't anyone can just come into your life while your not looking and take those things/people/memories/etc away from you and it will hurt.
Love and Light,
Nonceba
Monday, April 19, 2010
Even when things get rough...
I have been paying close attention to every detail of my life and the way I feel at every moment and why. As usual, I come here with the impression that I am here to help other people, but the reality is that every time I am the one that ends up being worked on. Spirit purposefully guides me here to help others but also to help and heal myself. Isolation works miracles y’all. It brings up all your stuff. It forces you to face things that you try to hide and bury when you are in the comfort of your everyday routine. But being absolutely alone and away from everything that is familiar forces you to lean on God whom forces you to get yourself together… at least that’s always been my experience. These past couple weeks my feelings have been so extreme. Either I am feeling devastating lonely and missing my family and friends and the comfort and familiarity of home sooo badly or I am feeing euphorically and indescribably joyful, happy and at peace. I find that the loneliness comes when something really exciting happens at work or something and I really wish I could call up a friend or family member to share, but I can’t. It’s hard having this amazing experience everyday and not having anyone to share it with. Then I feel that the joy, happiness and peace comes right when I get off of work everyday and reflect on the awesomeness that is my “job”. I literally have the best “job” in the world. There is nothing else that I’d rather be doing. There are things that I want to do next, but at this moment I am totally content. The joy comes in seeing the children growing and improving. They have grown sooooo much! Both the children in the orphanage and my children in my class at the school have soared over the past few weeks. God has really used me to help empower and enrich these children. It’s such an amazing thing to watch! I can’t even describe how much appreciation and peace fills my heart when I leave work everyday. And people always praise me and tell me how great I am, but the crazy thing is it really is not me! I promise you that I really could not do any of this on my own. I am a true living breathing example of what it means for Spirit to work through you. My class has grown even bigger and I now have about 60 kids. Brittanie cannot handle teaching drama to 60 kids, but somehow Spirit just guides me and speaks through me and I am able to handle them all. It’s really an amazing supernatural experience. I just can’t even describe it.
Anyway, lots of great things to report! I finally have an indoor classroom!!! It’s winter here now so the outdoors thing really was no longer working. Also, because there are so many kids my voice doesn’t carry to them all when we are outdoors so acoustically the indoors works so much better. Also, there are a lot less distractions inside. For example, a goat decided to observe my class last week and because I was outdoors there was nothing I could do about it, but now that problem is solved! The space I am using will not be available everyday and people don’t really respect my time there so they just walk through my class making noise whenever they want, but those are problems that can easily be solved. So, I am so grateful for my new indoor rehearsal space!
Also, I’ve been desperately trying to find people to supply food for my program. My class is afterschool and the kids are hungry afterschool so in order to keep their attention and as a reward for choosing to come to drama class instead of going out on the streets and becoming involved in all those negative things out there I need to provide food for them. Nothing big or anything, but at least a little snack. Most of them don’t have food at home as they so vividly explained to me when I asked why they were so aggressive when I pass out the sandwiches. The good news is that even though I did not find a sponsor I realized that I can be the sponsor! I realized that I can use the money I raised to sustain myself here for now to buy food for the kids because I know that God is going to bless me with the Ella Lyman Cabot Trust grant next month so there is no need for me to be so worried about money and sustaining myself here. I only have to get through this month because I have a huge blessing coming next month. So, for the past week Natalie and I have been serving the kids half of sandwich, a piece of fruit, and a cup of juice everyday. It costs me only about $10 American dollars per day to serve all 60 of them ( and I only go there 3 days per week) but each and everyday the children tell us how thankful they are and how they look forward to this meal all day and night so it is so totally worth it and its so incredibly humbling!
In other good news both the orphanage and the school are going a lot better this week than last week. Last week I was feeling pretty defeated and lost, but I kept going and just continued to pray about it and with time and patience everything has come together! The language barrier, my biggest obstacle, seems to be dissipating. I am learning more of their language and they are learning more of mine. We finally have a schedule at the orphanage where we do enriching activities with the children instead of just household tasks. My kids at the school are really coming out of their shells and starting to open up and create great work. They are also beginning to listen better and I don’t have as much trouble with discipline. So, slowly but surely things are coming together. Praise God!
Also I attended an amazing workshop this weekend. It was quite life changing and helped me to heal a lot of wounds that have been left unattended for years. As I said before, I went to the workshop to learn how to help and heal others, but I was the one who really experienced the healing. I also realized at this workshop how important it is for me to heal my wounds so that I can help heal others. As a part of the curriculum in the day care center at Abantwana Benceba we are going to teach the kids the program I learned at the workshop. We are going to do our part in preventing child sexual abuse and the spread of HIV/AIDS in children. The workshop was called Think Twice: Building a Foundation for Healthy Sexuality in Children. Basically it was a workshop for people who work with children which trained us on how to teach 4-7 year olds about healthy sexuality. The main contents were child sexual abuse and HIV/AIDS. Luckily, before going to the workshop I did not know that we would be learning about child sexual abuse because if I had I probably would not have gone. The first day was focused on teaching the kids about body pride and the difference between public and private parts. In the lesson we teach kids the proper terminology for their private parts and use visual aids such as paper stop lights and ‘thumps up’ and ‘thumbs down’ signs to show what parts of their bodies are ‘thumps up’ or ‘green light’ for people to touch (public parts) and which parts are ‘thumbs down’ or ‘red light’ for people to touch (private parts). We show illustrations of al different types of people: strangers, teachers, mothers, fathers, etc. and explain that it is NEVER right for ANYONE to touch you on your private parts. We also teach them three steps to follow if someone touches you on your private parts: 1) scream no! 2) run away (if you can) 3) tell an adult you trust. This lesson is accompanied by lots of fun and educational songs and dances as well as physical concentration boosters to keep the learners attentive and active. So to make a long story short this workshop and the concepts they teach are FABULOUS! I can’t wait to incorporate it into the work that I am doing.
I have a few prayer requests for you guys:
Please pray for my baby. Her name is Magaba. She is HIV positive and extremely sick right now. Please pray for her healing. She is the one you see me holding all the time in the pictures. Please just pray that she not experience any more pain.
Also please pray over the grant I applied for. It’s called the Ella Lyman Cabot Trust grant. Please pray that I receive all the money I asked for and that it makes a huge difference in both my and the children’s lives.
Please pray that God continue to bless me with the means to provide a meal for all the children everyday.
And lastly, please pray that God continue to make me more like Jesus. Pray that he strengthen me spiritually especially in the hard times and continue to humble me so that I may serve His people with a pure heart and without judgment or selfishness.
I love you all very much and thank you for reading.
Anyway, lots of great things to report! I finally have an indoor classroom!!! It’s winter here now so the outdoors thing really was no longer working. Also, because there are so many kids my voice doesn’t carry to them all when we are outdoors so acoustically the indoors works so much better. Also, there are a lot less distractions inside. For example, a goat decided to observe my class last week and because I was outdoors there was nothing I could do about it, but now that problem is solved! The space I am using will not be available everyday and people don’t really respect my time there so they just walk through my class making noise whenever they want, but those are problems that can easily be solved. So, I am so grateful for my new indoor rehearsal space!
Also, I’ve been desperately trying to find people to supply food for my program. My class is afterschool and the kids are hungry afterschool so in order to keep their attention and as a reward for choosing to come to drama class instead of going out on the streets and becoming involved in all those negative things out there I need to provide food for them. Nothing big or anything, but at least a little snack. Most of them don’t have food at home as they so vividly explained to me when I asked why they were so aggressive when I pass out the sandwiches. The good news is that even though I did not find a sponsor I realized that I can be the sponsor! I realized that I can use the money I raised to sustain myself here for now to buy food for the kids because I know that God is going to bless me with the Ella Lyman Cabot Trust grant next month so there is no need for me to be so worried about money and sustaining myself here. I only have to get through this month because I have a huge blessing coming next month. So, for the past week Natalie and I have been serving the kids half of sandwich, a piece of fruit, and a cup of juice everyday. It costs me only about $10 American dollars per day to serve all 60 of them ( and I only go there 3 days per week) but each and everyday the children tell us how thankful they are and how they look forward to this meal all day and night so it is so totally worth it and its so incredibly humbling!
In other good news both the orphanage and the school are going a lot better this week than last week. Last week I was feeling pretty defeated and lost, but I kept going and just continued to pray about it and with time and patience everything has come together! The language barrier, my biggest obstacle, seems to be dissipating. I am learning more of their language and they are learning more of mine. We finally have a schedule at the orphanage where we do enriching activities with the children instead of just household tasks. My kids at the school are really coming out of their shells and starting to open up and create great work. They are also beginning to listen better and I don’t have as much trouble with discipline. So, slowly but surely things are coming together. Praise God!
Also I attended an amazing workshop this weekend. It was quite life changing and helped me to heal a lot of wounds that have been left unattended for years. As I said before, I went to the workshop to learn how to help and heal others, but I was the one who really experienced the healing. I also realized at this workshop how important it is for me to heal my wounds so that I can help heal others. As a part of the curriculum in the day care center at Abantwana Benceba we are going to teach the kids the program I learned at the workshop. We are going to do our part in preventing child sexual abuse and the spread of HIV/AIDS in children. The workshop was called Think Twice: Building a Foundation for Healthy Sexuality in Children. Basically it was a workshop for people who work with children which trained us on how to teach 4-7 year olds about healthy sexuality. The main contents were child sexual abuse and HIV/AIDS. Luckily, before going to the workshop I did not know that we would be learning about child sexual abuse because if I had I probably would not have gone. The first day was focused on teaching the kids about body pride and the difference between public and private parts. In the lesson we teach kids the proper terminology for their private parts and use visual aids such as paper stop lights and ‘thumps up’ and ‘thumbs down’ signs to show what parts of their bodies are ‘thumps up’ or ‘green light’ for people to touch (public parts) and which parts are ‘thumbs down’ or ‘red light’ for people to touch (private parts). We show illustrations of al different types of people: strangers, teachers, mothers, fathers, etc. and explain that it is NEVER right for ANYONE to touch you on your private parts. We also teach them three steps to follow if someone touches you on your private parts: 1) scream no! 2) run away (if you can) 3) tell an adult you trust. This lesson is accompanied by lots of fun and educational songs and dances as well as physical concentration boosters to keep the learners attentive and active. So to make a long story short this workshop and the concepts they teach are FABULOUS! I can’t wait to incorporate it into the work that I am doing.
I have a few prayer requests for you guys:
Please pray for my baby. Her name is Magaba. She is HIV positive and extremely sick right now. Please pray for her healing. She is the one you see me holding all the time in the pictures. Please just pray that she not experience any more pain.
Also please pray over the grant I applied for. It’s called the Ella Lyman Cabot Trust grant. Please pray that I receive all the money I asked for and that it makes a huge difference in both my and the children’s lives.
Please pray that God continue to bless me with the means to provide a meal for all the children everyday.
And lastly, please pray that God continue to make me more like Jesus. Pray that he strengthen me spiritually especially in the hard times and continue to humble me so that I may serve His people with a pure heart and without judgment or selfishness.
I love you all very much and thank you for reading.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Prisilla's Home Care Orphanage
So, the schools are out for a two week holiday because of Easter so I haven’t been working at the school for the past week and a half. So instead I’ve been working at the orphanage. I arrive at 10am each morning and stay until about 1 or 2. My experience at the orphanage has been so much more pleasant than I expected. I mean, I have a really great time there. Yes, I do get sad at times, but I just focus on the bright innocence in their eyes that only children have and it keeps me smiling and focused on the positive. The fact that I am actually DOING helps too. I mean, I do a little bit of everything there from cleaning, to cooking (yes, cooking), to feeding kids, to changing their diapers, everything. And it really helps the workers there so much. The fact that I see how much we are not only benefiting the children but the workers too makes me feel good inside. Also everyday Pastor Vusi has sent a team of young people to help along with me as well as Natalie (his sister, my personal translator). Even they are benefiting from this. They had no idea how much their community needs their help until they were brought into this situation. So it’s a whole cycle of just growing and learning and love and compassion. It’s a beautiful experience.
And guys, these kids are a TRIP hahaha!! They have such fiery and distinct personalities. I can’t even understand their language but somehow they still find a way to bend me to their own little desires weather it be a candy they find in my purse or smiling their biggest smile at me which is sign language for “please take a photo of me”. As we’ve discussed, kids here LOVE taking pictures.
I don’t want to waste my blog taking about how in need these kids are because you know already and there are too many happy and precious stories to share that will make you smile so I’d rather tell those. But, because someone reading this may be able to help I will include a list of things that they are in dire need of and if you can help in any way it would be greatly appreciated. This list is for the children of Prisilla’s Home Care Orphanage in Cross Roads for children infected or affected by HIV/AIDS:
• wash rags
(They don’t use tissues or wipes, they use wash rags to clean their little noses and their little buts. At the time we use one towel for all the kids’ noses which only spreads sicknesses. It would be great if each child could have his/her own. There are 32 children.)
• food
(Specifically mealie meal, rice, chicken, butternut, potatoes, milk, sugar, bread, eggs, lunch meat)
• uniforms for the 9 school aged children
(All school children even at public schools must wear them. They cost about $40 each)
• educational games, toys, and teaching supplies
• Household supplies
(Toilet paper, dishwashing liquid, disinfectant, HANDSOAP, washing powder, etc)
Now the great news is, if you are reading this blog you probably know me and therefore have probably donated to this cause already. So, I’d like you to know that because of your generosity we were able to give the kids some wonderful Easter gifts this year! I used some of the money that you donated to buy lots of cool colorful educational but fun toys for the kids. Before now there were no toys in the orphanage. The kids played with their shoes or with trash. I was also able to purchase a whole big bundle of toilet paper, 10 kgs of mealie meal for porridge in the mornings, 5kgs of washing powder, and some disinfectant for the house. I tried to take pictures of the kids faces when I showed them the toys but they were so excited that they were jumping all over me and squealing with delight it was hard to focus and take the pictures. Now THAT is a great feeling! Putting smiles like that on kids faces… its indescribable. So from me, from the kids, from the workers, and from the other volunteers THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone that donated and helped make these kids Easter so amazing. Thank you for your generosity and thoughtfulness. We appreciate it. And you are loved from all the way on this side of the world.
This week I plan on buying finger paint and using recycled paper to let the kids make finger paintings. So, also, thank you in advance for the opportunity to do so.
I love you all! Thanks for reading!
And guys, these kids are a TRIP hahaha!! They have such fiery and distinct personalities. I can’t even understand their language but somehow they still find a way to bend me to their own little desires weather it be a candy they find in my purse or smiling their biggest smile at me which is sign language for “please take a photo of me”. As we’ve discussed, kids here LOVE taking pictures.
I don’t want to waste my blog taking about how in need these kids are because you know already and there are too many happy and precious stories to share that will make you smile so I’d rather tell those. But, because someone reading this may be able to help I will include a list of things that they are in dire need of and if you can help in any way it would be greatly appreciated. This list is for the children of Prisilla’s Home Care Orphanage in Cross Roads for children infected or affected by HIV/AIDS:
• wash rags
(They don’t use tissues or wipes, they use wash rags to clean their little noses and their little buts. At the time we use one towel for all the kids’ noses which only spreads sicknesses. It would be great if each child could have his/her own. There are 32 children.)
• food
(Specifically mealie meal, rice, chicken, butternut, potatoes, milk, sugar, bread, eggs, lunch meat)
• uniforms for the 9 school aged children
(All school children even at public schools must wear them. They cost about $40 each)
• educational games, toys, and teaching supplies
• Household supplies
(Toilet paper, dishwashing liquid, disinfectant, HANDSOAP, washing powder, etc)
Now the great news is, if you are reading this blog you probably know me and therefore have probably donated to this cause already. So, I’d like you to know that because of your generosity we were able to give the kids some wonderful Easter gifts this year! I used some of the money that you donated to buy lots of cool colorful educational but fun toys for the kids. Before now there were no toys in the orphanage. The kids played with their shoes or with trash. I was also able to purchase a whole big bundle of toilet paper, 10 kgs of mealie meal for porridge in the mornings, 5kgs of washing powder, and some disinfectant for the house. I tried to take pictures of the kids faces when I showed them the toys but they were so excited that they were jumping all over me and squealing with delight it was hard to focus and take the pictures. Now THAT is a great feeling! Putting smiles like that on kids faces… its indescribable. So from me, from the kids, from the workers, and from the other volunteers THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone that donated and helped make these kids Easter so amazing. Thank you for your generosity and thoughtfulness. We appreciate it. And you are loved from all the way on this side of the world.
This week I plan on buying finger paint and using recycled paper to let the kids make finger paintings. So, also, thank you in advance for the opportunity to do so.
I love you all! Thanks for reading!
Easter
So this weekend was HUGE here. Easter here is like Christmas in the States except it lasts for four days. I was supposed to go to Paarl with Pastor Vusi and his church for the 4 day long service… we must pause here. Yes, I did say 4 day long church service. And Thursday night the service lasts through the night so you don’t sleep. They act out each scene leading up to the crucifixion of Christ since most of the church is illiterate and therefore can’t read the bible. This lasts all night. They then have a short break only to continue for 2 more days… Now, believe it or not, I really wanted to be a part of this experience. I just wanted to see what it was like. I would think it would be a very sacred and spirit filled experience. Also, they follow the theme of Jesus and the fish and loaves so they only eat fish and bread the entire weekend. This just all seemed like something I had to see! But unfortunately, after talking with Pastor Vusi we decided that I wouldn’t go. It was for the best because I’ve even stopped going to his church on Sundays because I can’t understand the sermon since it’s all in Xhosa. I’ve been going back to the English speaking church I went to before when I was here (its amazing by the way). It’s just really frustrating to wake up Sunday morning and get really excited about hearing the word, then go to church and sit and listen to the preacher speak what sounds like gibberish to you as you look around at everyone else really getting into what he’s saying and enjoying it. That doesn’t help my spiritual growth in any way. In fact, it hinders it. So just like we decided about Sundays, we decided that I would spend Easter weekend going to my English church where I can hear and understand the word. It wasn’t as much of an experience as going to Paarl would have been because we just had a regular Sunday church service, no four day long revival. But, it was still really great. For the first time in a really long time I truly thought about Jesus as a man and not an idea and thought about what he went through. I really thought about the sacrifice he made for us and it illed me with such gratitude. I don't know if i've ever thought about Jesus as a man before. I always think of him as a metaphor or a symbol for some reason. So this was really an eye opener for me. And I prayed a prayer of thanks.
For this entire 4 day weekend everywhere I went I could just feel Easter in the air. It was like Christmas time, but hot and really REALLY focused on Jesus. Not like the American commercialized Christmas that I’ve grown to know and love. I basically relaxed all weekend. I prayed and read a lot of the bible. I was able to be a blessing to the kids on Friday, but ill get into that later. Also, we had a braii at the house on Friday night which was really fun. My friend Lerato came over. We had tons of great food and great conversation. The weather was great that night and the stars looked absolutely beautiful above the fire. Mpho slept over Friday night so Saturday morning we woke up and it was such a gorgeous day so we had morning prayer out in the garden under the sun then just sat out there on the bed we have in our garden and talked for hours as we enjoyed one of the last days of the hot sun before winter comes. We then got dinner and watched a movie. She left, and I read my book and went to sleep I am currently reading a book called Commited by Elizabeth Gilbert. She is the author of the infamous Eat, Pray, Love which was SUCH an AMAZING book. One of my absolute favs! I am enjoying Commited, but its not really what I expected. Its very different from Eat, Pray, Love which is great, but a little too different for my liking. This book is a bit intellectual for me. I don’t really do intellectual…
But, all that being said, I think people who are engaged, married, or divorced would love it.
Sunday we went to church, then out to lunch at the waterfront, but I woke up sick that morning so I couldn’t fully enjoy either. I’ve been feeling sick ever since. I thought it was just a cold, but I must have caught something from one of the kids… The kids, they deserve a whole new post of their own…
For this entire 4 day weekend everywhere I went I could just feel Easter in the air. It was like Christmas time, but hot and really REALLY focused on Jesus. Not like the American commercialized Christmas that I’ve grown to know and love. I basically relaxed all weekend. I prayed and read a lot of the bible. I was able to be a blessing to the kids on Friday, but ill get into that later. Also, we had a braii at the house on Friday night which was really fun. My friend Lerato came over. We had tons of great food and great conversation. The weather was great that night and the stars looked absolutely beautiful above the fire. Mpho slept over Friday night so Saturday morning we woke up and it was such a gorgeous day so we had morning prayer out in the garden under the sun then just sat out there on the bed we have in our garden and talked for hours as we enjoyed one of the last days of the hot sun before winter comes. We then got dinner and watched a movie. She left, and I read my book and went to sleep I am currently reading a book called Commited by Elizabeth Gilbert. She is the author of the infamous Eat, Pray, Love which was SUCH an AMAZING book. One of my absolute favs! I am enjoying Commited, but its not really what I expected. Its very different from Eat, Pray, Love which is great, but a little too different for my liking. This book is a bit intellectual for me. I don’t really do intellectual…
But, all that being said, I think people who are engaged, married, or divorced would love it.
Sunday we went to church, then out to lunch at the waterfront, but I woke up sick that morning so I couldn’t fully enjoy either. I’ve been feeling sick ever since. I thought it was just a cold, but I must have caught something from one of the kids… The kids, they deserve a whole new post of their own…
Monday, March 29, 2010
Thursday!
Last Thursday when I got home from work I said I was going to sit down and blog about the wonderful day I’d had. But, I did not. Therefore I am now going to have to give you the watered down version with bits and pieces that I can’t remember left lingering in the gloriousness that was Thursday. Because today is Monday and Thursday has gone away.
The week started really well last week because Monday was a holiday. It was Human Right Day so of course school was closed and I had the day off. I woke up and had breakfast and tea in the garden. Then Mpho came over. We had a photo shoot then spent the rest of the afternoon picnicking and having girl talk in Kirstenbosh Gardens which is a huge very popular collection of gardens right on the slopes of Table Mountain. We went to Woolworth’s and bought fruit, sandwiches, chips, chocolate and other snacks then took a taxi up to the gardens. It was really beautiful. We just talked and laughed and had a great time as usual. It started to get a little chilly toward the end, but besides that everything was perfect. Afterwards I came home and a meeting with Pastor Vusi. I told him the great news about the grant that I am receiving next month. He was ecstatic! And we also discussed orphanage plans and plans to help make my class be sustainable after I leave. As far as the orphanage goes we came up with a great fundraising plan. We need to raise $4,300 to buy the land for the orphanage and we found this grant offered by the US Embassy. But instead of just applying for the grant to use the money to build the orphanage we are going to submit a proposal to pay for two things. Firstly, we are going to buy a t-shirt printing machine. We went to the place to shop for it the other day and they have a package where you can get the machine, a bulk order of blank t-shirts, and the transfer paper all together. So what we are going to do (to continue with the “Art for Africa” theme) is design t-shirts and print them ourselves and sell them, then use the proceeds for the land fund. I am going to send a bunch home to the states and you all must sell them to everyone you know for $10 each. We are also going to sell them at his church here and at the University of Cape Town. Secondly, we are going to use the other portion of the money to buy materials and pay a local beading lady to make Art for Africa key chains in bulk that we can sell as well. I think it’s a great idea because its benefiting us by helping us raise money to buy our land and its helping the community by creating a job opportunity that will be very lucrative for such a poor but talented woman. Anyway, I’ve been dreaming (literally) about this orphanage a lot lately and I’m very excited about the project!
So Tuesday morning I woke up expecting to go to work but I got a text message from Pastor Vusi telling me not to ride the bus today because its dangerous. There was a taxi strike going on (not like American taxis. They are like little minibuses that carry many people around. They are the main source of transportation here). Because the taxi drivers were on strike he didn’t want me taking the bus because he was afraid that the taxi drivers would stone and burn the busses (which was a very legitimate fear). So, to be safe, I stayed home that day. But then the next day he said it still wasn’t safe, so including my usual 3 day weekends (I don’t work on Fridays) I had 5 days off work last week. I only worked Thursday which brings me to the point of this blog entry.
Thursday I went to school without too high of expectations. It was the kids last day of school before a 2 week long break and I hadn’t worked with them in 5 days. When I arrived Ms. Maseti got all the kids together and sent them out to me for drama class. This was the best class yet! The kids were so excited that I was there. The teachers were all telling me that everyday the kids were asking “Where is Nonceba? When is she coming back to teach us our drama?” Of course they were saying all of this in Xhosa though. So when we got to our windy outdoor classroom covered in broken beer bottles and litter I asked the kids if they felt like doing something calm or doing something really active. Almost all of them enthusiastically responded that they wanted to be active. We started with the warm-up which they really love. We do a shake down then some stretches and physical exercises. Then we so some vocal warm ups then move into the drama work. I let a different student lead the shake down each day and they are finally becoming enthusiastic about it and volunteering instead of shy and hiding behind one another to ensure that I don’t choose them. Anyway, I had them do an exercise that I created based on some things I learned in college mixed with some kiddie improv games and some of my own personal technique. It requires a lot of risk taking and thinking on your toes. I expected it to be very difficult for them, especially because I’m really trying to ease off of the translator and have them understand and speak English confidently. Anyway, as the exercise was going on and I saw them putting their whole hearts into it I had a moment. They were running through an imaginary jungle of fire and I saw the look on one of the girls faces. It was absolutely believable. She was totally lost in her dramatic circumstance. This shy girl who still giggles and runs off in embarrassment every time I say hello to her because she can’t get over the fact that I’m actually from the real United States of America, was totally and completely submerged in the dramatic circumstance. I then looked around and realized that they all were. For the first time since I’ve started they had finally let go of caring what others think or being afraid to be wrong and they were ACTING! I mean they were really acting! And then without me even instructing them to do so they began to add song to the drama. It was beautiful! They were totally letting their guards down. At the moment I was so happy because that’s what its all about. Its about getting lost in the drama and letting go of all the hardships of life. There is so much trouble in their little lives and you can almost see the worry weighing on many of their shoulders. But not while they were acting! They were having fun. They were being kids. They were being artists and it was beautiful. I literally heard myself say out loud “this is amazing”, and goodness it was!
After class however, I saw my little star named Esethu (she is freakin BRILLIANT, amazing actress and she wrote a whole 2 paragraph essay in English the other day with almost all the words spelled perfectly) crying on her way out… well we she was already out because my classroom is outdoors… but on her way away from class. I stopped her to see what was wrong but she was so upset and speaking in Xhosa so I couldn’t understand her. So I had Natalie, my friend and translator, come over and figure out what the problem was. Apparently some of the big boys at the school bully her and threatened to beat her up again today on her way home. Even as small a she is, she walks home alone. So Natalie agreed to walk her home that day and Bandile and I left.
As I was leaving I kept thinking about how thankful I was to be able to take her mind off of the bullies and all the other burdens of her life for just a little while. I was remembering being in high school and having all these problems that at the time felt insurmountable, but then going to drama class and to YEA and escaping them. It always felt so good….
I am sad because now the kids have a 2 week break so no school for me the next two weeks. I was supposed to attend a workshop today and tomorrow but the taxis went on strike AGAIN so I was stuck home again today. But Pastor Vusi says that they are doing the workshop again next month so I’ll go then. Tomorrow, if the taxis don’t decide to strike and Pastor Vusi thinks its safe enough, I am going to go work in the orphanage. I am going to work there this week since there is no school. I am very nervous about it. As I explained in my previous blog, the orphanage makes me shaky and emotional and makes me feel sort of ill. But, I am going to go tomorrow and try to make the best of it. I’m just going to remember that what I am doing is helping a little even if its just chipping little pieces of ice off the iceberg.
In other news, I miss my sisters, especially Tiff. I wish I could be there with/for her right now. But hey, all in God’s timing. Also, everyone please pray for God to provide a means for me to attend the Be the Change course this year. It’s a week long course in Italy on social entrepreneurship and how to start your own non-profit organization. OH YEAH!! Did I already blog about how I am now officially a registered founder of Abantwana Benceba?! It is officially registered as an NPO and if you look at the constitution next to the word founder is Nonceba B. Richardson!!! A couple months ago I made a list of goals I wanted to accomplish within the next ten years. By the end of May I will be able to check FOUR things off: get back to South Africa by March 2010, raise $10,000 for Art for Africa, start my own non-profit organization, and see Italy. Now this is cause for celebration!
Anyway, I love you all dearly. Thank you for reading!
The week started really well last week because Monday was a holiday. It was Human Right Day so of course school was closed and I had the day off. I woke up and had breakfast and tea in the garden. Then Mpho came over. We had a photo shoot then spent the rest of the afternoon picnicking and having girl talk in Kirstenbosh Gardens which is a huge very popular collection of gardens right on the slopes of Table Mountain. We went to Woolworth’s and bought fruit, sandwiches, chips, chocolate and other snacks then took a taxi up to the gardens. It was really beautiful. We just talked and laughed and had a great time as usual. It started to get a little chilly toward the end, but besides that everything was perfect. Afterwards I came home and a meeting with Pastor Vusi. I told him the great news about the grant that I am receiving next month. He was ecstatic! And we also discussed orphanage plans and plans to help make my class be sustainable after I leave. As far as the orphanage goes we came up with a great fundraising plan. We need to raise $4,300 to buy the land for the orphanage and we found this grant offered by the US Embassy. But instead of just applying for the grant to use the money to build the orphanage we are going to submit a proposal to pay for two things. Firstly, we are going to buy a t-shirt printing machine. We went to the place to shop for it the other day and they have a package where you can get the machine, a bulk order of blank t-shirts, and the transfer paper all together. So what we are going to do (to continue with the “Art for Africa” theme) is design t-shirts and print them ourselves and sell them, then use the proceeds for the land fund. I am going to send a bunch home to the states and you all must sell them to everyone you know for $10 each. We are also going to sell them at his church here and at the University of Cape Town. Secondly, we are going to use the other portion of the money to buy materials and pay a local beading lady to make Art for Africa key chains in bulk that we can sell as well. I think it’s a great idea because its benefiting us by helping us raise money to buy our land and its helping the community by creating a job opportunity that will be very lucrative for such a poor but talented woman. Anyway, I’ve been dreaming (literally) about this orphanage a lot lately and I’m very excited about the project!
So Tuesday morning I woke up expecting to go to work but I got a text message from Pastor Vusi telling me not to ride the bus today because its dangerous. There was a taxi strike going on (not like American taxis. They are like little minibuses that carry many people around. They are the main source of transportation here). Because the taxi drivers were on strike he didn’t want me taking the bus because he was afraid that the taxi drivers would stone and burn the busses (which was a very legitimate fear). So, to be safe, I stayed home that day. But then the next day he said it still wasn’t safe, so including my usual 3 day weekends (I don’t work on Fridays) I had 5 days off work last week. I only worked Thursday which brings me to the point of this blog entry.
Thursday I went to school without too high of expectations. It was the kids last day of school before a 2 week long break and I hadn’t worked with them in 5 days. When I arrived Ms. Maseti got all the kids together and sent them out to me for drama class. This was the best class yet! The kids were so excited that I was there. The teachers were all telling me that everyday the kids were asking “Where is Nonceba? When is she coming back to teach us our drama?” Of course they were saying all of this in Xhosa though. So when we got to our windy outdoor classroom covered in broken beer bottles and litter I asked the kids if they felt like doing something calm or doing something really active. Almost all of them enthusiastically responded that they wanted to be active. We started with the warm-up which they really love. We do a shake down then some stretches and physical exercises. Then we so some vocal warm ups then move into the drama work. I let a different student lead the shake down each day and they are finally becoming enthusiastic about it and volunteering instead of shy and hiding behind one another to ensure that I don’t choose them. Anyway, I had them do an exercise that I created based on some things I learned in college mixed with some kiddie improv games and some of my own personal technique. It requires a lot of risk taking and thinking on your toes. I expected it to be very difficult for them, especially because I’m really trying to ease off of the translator and have them understand and speak English confidently. Anyway, as the exercise was going on and I saw them putting their whole hearts into it I had a moment. They were running through an imaginary jungle of fire and I saw the look on one of the girls faces. It was absolutely believable. She was totally lost in her dramatic circumstance. This shy girl who still giggles and runs off in embarrassment every time I say hello to her because she can’t get over the fact that I’m actually from the real United States of America, was totally and completely submerged in the dramatic circumstance. I then looked around and realized that they all were. For the first time since I’ve started they had finally let go of caring what others think or being afraid to be wrong and they were ACTING! I mean they were really acting! And then without me even instructing them to do so they began to add song to the drama. It was beautiful! They were totally letting their guards down. At the moment I was so happy because that’s what its all about. Its about getting lost in the drama and letting go of all the hardships of life. There is so much trouble in their little lives and you can almost see the worry weighing on many of their shoulders. But not while they were acting! They were having fun. They were being kids. They were being artists and it was beautiful. I literally heard myself say out loud “this is amazing”, and goodness it was!
After class however, I saw my little star named Esethu (she is freakin BRILLIANT, amazing actress and she wrote a whole 2 paragraph essay in English the other day with almost all the words spelled perfectly) crying on her way out… well we she was already out because my classroom is outdoors… but on her way away from class. I stopped her to see what was wrong but she was so upset and speaking in Xhosa so I couldn’t understand her. So I had Natalie, my friend and translator, come over and figure out what the problem was. Apparently some of the big boys at the school bully her and threatened to beat her up again today on her way home. Even as small a she is, she walks home alone. So Natalie agreed to walk her home that day and Bandile and I left.
As I was leaving I kept thinking about how thankful I was to be able to take her mind off of the bullies and all the other burdens of her life for just a little while. I was remembering being in high school and having all these problems that at the time felt insurmountable, but then going to drama class and to YEA and escaping them. It always felt so good….
I am sad because now the kids have a 2 week break so no school for me the next two weeks. I was supposed to attend a workshop today and tomorrow but the taxis went on strike AGAIN so I was stuck home again today. But Pastor Vusi says that they are doing the workshop again next month so I’ll go then. Tomorrow, if the taxis don’t decide to strike and Pastor Vusi thinks its safe enough, I am going to go work in the orphanage. I am going to work there this week since there is no school. I am very nervous about it. As I explained in my previous blog, the orphanage makes me shaky and emotional and makes me feel sort of ill. But, I am going to go tomorrow and try to make the best of it. I’m just going to remember that what I am doing is helping a little even if its just chipping little pieces of ice off the iceberg.
In other news, I miss my sisters, especially Tiff. I wish I could be there with/for her right now. But hey, all in God’s timing. Also, everyone please pray for God to provide a means for me to attend the Be the Change course this year. It’s a week long course in Italy on social entrepreneurship and how to start your own non-profit organization. OH YEAH!! Did I already blog about how I am now officially a registered founder of Abantwana Benceba?! It is officially registered as an NPO and if you look at the constitution next to the word founder is Nonceba B. Richardson!!! A couple months ago I made a list of goals I wanted to accomplish within the next ten years. By the end of May I will be able to check FOUR things off: get back to South Africa by March 2010, raise $10,000 for Art for Africa, start my own non-profit organization, and see Italy. Now this is cause for celebration!
Anyway, I love you all dearly. Thank you for reading!
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