Hello friends!
Wow, its been a while! Just wanted to come by and drop a quick note confirming the news that I am indeed moving to Cameroon this August and thank everyone who has already sent in donations and support of all kinds. I couldnt be more grateful or excited for this opportunity. The legistics are still being worked out so I cannot give too many details right now. But more details will follow in the coming weeks as I solidify my plans and make some major decisions regarding what I am going to do there. I am so excited to take another journey deeper into Love with you all and I look forward to sharing with you and reading your comments!
All my love,
Brittanie
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Home Sweet Home
Wow, it feels great to be home :)I arrived in South Africa last Friday morning at about 9am. The journey here was very long, but a lot less painful than I anticipated. I was traveling for a total of over thirty hours. I left Atlanta Wednesday afternoon and flew to New York. My flight arrived in La Guardia, but I was flying out of JFK so I had to take a shuttle in between. The shuttle was convenient because it only cost ten dollars and it took you right from one airport to the other, but I was a bit nervous because it was late so I only got to the airport 2 hours before my international flight instead of the 3 hours they recommend. But it was fine, I made it in time and everything. I flew from New York to Zurich, Switzerland. The flight was 7 hours long and it wasn’t bad at all. I sat next to a very nice young woman who was from nearby Switzerland and was going home to visit her long distance boyfriend. We talked for a while and she told me about her life and I told her about mine. Besides that we ate and slept and before I knew it the flight was over. Overnight flights like this one are always easiest for me because I usually sleep the whole time.
We arrived in Zurich at about 10am and I was pretty bummed because it looked like it was raining pretty badly out. My layover was 12 hours long so I was hoping to go out and see some stuff. So my new friend and I decided that it would be best for me to just book one of the day rooms in the airport (they are like little hotel rooms with a bed and shower and stuff in them) for the day instead of going out and exploring the city in the rain. But, praise the Lord the rain stopped! So, although I was very tired I decided to go out and explore Zurich, Switzerland. It was so much fun! There is a train that takes you right into the city from the airport. It only takes ten minutes. It was pretty expensive, but everything is in Europe so I wasn’t really surprised. I just walked around this city for a few hours and I saw such cool things. Just the way it is laid out in general was really awesome to me. The architecture was so grand and everything was artistic and beautiful. I fell in love with the cobblestone streets and all that cozy shops tucked away in bends and curves and pockets of roads. I walked along the lake and watched the boats and the swans. There was so much love there. Everywhere I looked there were couples holding hand and smiling at each other or kissing against the beautiful backdrop of the city. Of course there were lots of Swiss sausages and pretzels and chocolate for sale on food carts on the street. The city had a very romantic feel to it. I went to see three beautiful historic churches there. One had the famous stained glass Chagall windows in it. Oh my, they were so amazing. I could have stared at them for hours. They were huge and each told biblical stories so beautifully with color, glass, and light. I felt as though I was watching a performance of some kind. It was as if the colors had breath in them. They seemed to be alive and moving. And the light shining through them just awaked that thing inside of me that makes me revere God. These stained glass windows and this church really reflected the majesty and beauty of God in a might way. I sat in one of the pews for a while and prayed and just admired God for all that He is.
I also went to the Grossmunster church. It was even more amazing. There more stained glass windows here, but instead of three huge ones that told multiple stories on each like the ones at the church before, Grossmunster had several windows all around the church each one telling a different story. My favorite one was actually just black and white, but it played with the light which was really interesting. All in the space of one window it played with about six different understandings of who Jesus is. That one was very thought provoking. This church also had a tower on top and you could pay to climb to the top of the tower (very long and scary journey up some never-ending staircases) and look over the top of the whole city! I did this of course and it was breath-taking! After that I went back to the airport. I loved Zurich and would really love to spend a summer there sometime.
My next flight was ten hours long, another overnight. Not bad at all. I sat next to another very sweet lady named Helena from the Ukraine. She was a talker! She talked to me for hours. But I was happy because I had asked God when I got on the plane to sit me next to some one really nice who would talk to me, I definitely got that!
I arrived in Johannesburg, South Africa on Friday morning a little after 9am. After I got all my bags and stuff I took the train to Sandton to meet my dear sister in Christ, Masana who was picking me up. I could hardly contain my excitement during the plane ride. Masana is one of my closest and dearest friends in the world, literally. She is a genuine sister of mine and we planned to spend Friday night and Saturday catching up and loving on each other. I couldn’t wait. When I walked out of the train station and finally spotted Masana I just lost it. My heart leaped with joy. I screamed her name and dropped my suitcase in the middle of a Joburg street and ran to here and we hugged each other so tight! We just wept and embraced and praised the Lord for bringing me back home to her. She then took me to her house. She had to work Friday so she picked me up on her lunch break but had to go back after dropping me off. After all of that traveling I was exhausted so I showered, ate, checked the internet, and then took a nice long nap. That night Masana took me out for supper. We had Thai food and great conversation. It was really such a blessing to be in her presence again and just laugh with her and talk about things that only people who have lived here with me in South Africa understand. It was so freeing! We had a great time.
The next day Masana woke me up and told me that we were meeting another one of our sisters, Sara for an event she was having that morning. I thought that sounded a bit strange because I wondered why the “event” would be at 11am, but I just went with it. She told me to make sure to get dressed up, because it is a fancy event so I did. The “event” was in an outdoor area at a huge mall. We arrived and I saw Sara and again got so happy. Sara went the same church as Masana and I and is a part of the same circle of friends. I spent Christmas with Sara and her mom last year. She is an angel, a very dear friend of mine. Anyway, Sara suggests we take a photo so we pose for the photo. After taking the photo Sara begins to ask me, “Is there any gorgeous man you would love to see here?” and before she can finish I look to my left and Joshua is standing there with a bouquet of two dozen red roses. There was no “event” going on. My boyfriend had flown all the way from Cape Town to Johannesburg to surprise me! As soon as I saw him I screamed and ran to him and jumped on him! I was so surprised and soooooo happy to see him after 5 long months of long distance. He was all dressed up and looked so handsome! As we were embracing I remembered why I love this man so much.
Sara and Masana went to the movies to watch a movie while Joshua and I had some time to ourselves. He took me for some lunch and we just talked as I tried to get over the shock of him being there. They really got me good! I was overflowing with joy. We all then went back to Sara’s and hung out for a bit. Strangely enough this was so serial for me because it was as if I never left. As me and my friends and the man that I love were all sitting in the living room just talking and laughing and debating I was overwhelmed by their love for me. It really reinforced the fact that no matter how far away I am and no matter how long I am gone for I will always have a home and a family here, people who truly love and accept me and want to spend time with me. It humbled me so much and just made me so grateful to God. That’s another thing! As we were talking I remembered how much God is the center of everything, every conversation, every joke, every debate, every comment. I just love how my friends are so unashamedly passionately in love with God. God is everything to them. You never have to try not to sound too Christiany or anything when you’re around them, you can just be authentically who you are and you are accepted. Its so beautiful…
After a couple hours Masana had to go because she was leaving on a business trip for China the next day. So we prayed for her and said goodbye. Then Joshua, Sara, and me all went to the shop and bought some stuff for supper. We went back to Sara’s place and made Mexican. We at sat at the table together and ate great food prepared by Sara, drank some South African wine, laughed a lot and just enjoyed each other’s company. It was a great day.
Right now I am on a plane to Cape Town. It’s Monday. Joshua went back this morning so I’m meeting him there. I will be in Cape Town for a few weeks then will head back up to Johannesburg for the mission. I’m super excited for what the rest of this trip has in store! I already am just so thankful to be back and having such a great time!
Love and Light,
Britt
We arrived in Zurich at about 10am and I was pretty bummed because it looked like it was raining pretty badly out. My layover was 12 hours long so I was hoping to go out and see some stuff. So my new friend and I decided that it would be best for me to just book one of the day rooms in the airport (they are like little hotel rooms with a bed and shower and stuff in them) for the day instead of going out and exploring the city in the rain. But, praise the Lord the rain stopped! So, although I was very tired I decided to go out and explore Zurich, Switzerland. It was so much fun! There is a train that takes you right into the city from the airport. It only takes ten minutes. It was pretty expensive, but everything is in Europe so I wasn’t really surprised. I just walked around this city for a few hours and I saw such cool things. Just the way it is laid out in general was really awesome to me. The architecture was so grand and everything was artistic and beautiful. I fell in love with the cobblestone streets and all that cozy shops tucked away in bends and curves and pockets of roads. I walked along the lake and watched the boats and the swans. There was so much love there. Everywhere I looked there were couples holding hand and smiling at each other or kissing against the beautiful backdrop of the city. Of course there were lots of Swiss sausages and pretzels and chocolate for sale on food carts on the street. The city had a very romantic feel to it. I went to see three beautiful historic churches there. One had the famous stained glass Chagall windows in it. Oh my, they were so amazing. I could have stared at them for hours. They were huge and each told biblical stories so beautifully with color, glass, and light. I felt as though I was watching a performance of some kind. It was as if the colors had breath in them. They seemed to be alive and moving. And the light shining through them just awaked that thing inside of me that makes me revere God. These stained glass windows and this church really reflected the majesty and beauty of God in a might way. I sat in one of the pews for a while and prayed and just admired God for all that He is.
I also went to the Grossmunster church. It was even more amazing. There more stained glass windows here, but instead of three huge ones that told multiple stories on each like the ones at the church before, Grossmunster had several windows all around the church each one telling a different story. My favorite one was actually just black and white, but it played with the light which was really interesting. All in the space of one window it played with about six different understandings of who Jesus is. That one was very thought provoking. This church also had a tower on top and you could pay to climb to the top of the tower (very long and scary journey up some never-ending staircases) and look over the top of the whole city! I did this of course and it was breath-taking! After that I went back to the airport. I loved Zurich and would really love to spend a summer there sometime.
My next flight was ten hours long, another overnight. Not bad at all. I sat next to another very sweet lady named Helena from the Ukraine. She was a talker! She talked to me for hours. But I was happy because I had asked God when I got on the plane to sit me next to some one really nice who would talk to me, I definitely got that!
I arrived in Johannesburg, South Africa on Friday morning a little after 9am. After I got all my bags and stuff I took the train to Sandton to meet my dear sister in Christ, Masana who was picking me up. I could hardly contain my excitement during the plane ride. Masana is one of my closest and dearest friends in the world, literally. She is a genuine sister of mine and we planned to spend Friday night and Saturday catching up and loving on each other. I couldn’t wait. When I walked out of the train station and finally spotted Masana I just lost it. My heart leaped with joy. I screamed her name and dropped my suitcase in the middle of a Joburg street and ran to here and we hugged each other so tight! We just wept and embraced and praised the Lord for bringing me back home to her. She then took me to her house. She had to work Friday so she picked me up on her lunch break but had to go back after dropping me off. After all of that traveling I was exhausted so I showered, ate, checked the internet, and then took a nice long nap. That night Masana took me out for supper. We had Thai food and great conversation. It was really such a blessing to be in her presence again and just laugh with her and talk about things that only people who have lived here with me in South Africa understand. It was so freeing! We had a great time.
The next day Masana woke me up and told me that we were meeting another one of our sisters, Sara for an event she was having that morning. I thought that sounded a bit strange because I wondered why the “event” would be at 11am, but I just went with it. She told me to make sure to get dressed up, because it is a fancy event so I did. The “event” was in an outdoor area at a huge mall. We arrived and I saw Sara and again got so happy. Sara went the same church as Masana and I and is a part of the same circle of friends. I spent Christmas with Sara and her mom last year. She is an angel, a very dear friend of mine. Anyway, Sara suggests we take a photo so we pose for the photo. After taking the photo Sara begins to ask me, “Is there any gorgeous man you would love to see here?” and before she can finish I look to my left and Joshua is standing there with a bouquet of two dozen red roses. There was no “event” going on. My boyfriend had flown all the way from Cape Town to Johannesburg to surprise me! As soon as I saw him I screamed and ran to him and jumped on him! I was so surprised and soooooo happy to see him after 5 long months of long distance. He was all dressed up and looked so handsome! As we were embracing I remembered why I love this man so much.
Sara and Masana went to the movies to watch a movie while Joshua and I had some time to ourselves. He took me for some lunch and we just talked as I tried to get over the shock of him being there. They really got me good! I was overflowing with joy. We all then went back to Sara’s and hung out for a bit. Strangely enough this was so serial for me because it was as if I never left. As me and my friends and the man that I love were all sitting in the living room just talking and laughing and debating I was overwhelmed by their love for me. It really reinforced the fact that no matter how far away I am and no matter how long I am gone for I will always have a home and a family here, people who truly love and accept me and want to spend time with me. It humbled me so much and just made me so grateful to God. That’s another thing! As we were talking I remembered how much God is the center of everything, every conversation, every joke, every debate, every comment. I just love how my friends are so unashamedly passionately in love with God. God is everything to them. You never have to try not to sound too Christiany or anything when you’re around them, you can just be authentically who you are and you are accepted. Its so beautiful…
After a couple hours Masana had to go because she was leaving on a business trip for China the next day. So we prayed for her and said goodbye. Then Joshua, Sara, and me all went to the shop and bought some stuff for supper. We went back to Sara’s place and made Mexican. We at sat at the table together and ate great food prepared by Sara, drank some South African wine, laughed a lot and just enjoyed each other’s company. It was a great day.
Right now I am on a plane to Cape Town. It’s Monday. Joshua went back this morning so I’m meeting him there. I will be in Cape Town for a few weeks then will head back up to Johannesburg for the mission. I’m super excited for what the rest of this trip has in store! I already am just so thankful to be back and having such a great time!
Love and Light,
Britt
Thursday, March 17, 2011
When God Says No
I know, I know. This is a fine time for me to blog after not blogging during some of the most important parts of my time in Cape Town. I'm sorry. I really have no excuse for my lack of communication. I guess the more comfortable I got living in Cape Town the less I felt motivated to document what was going on. I apologize. I will do better next time.
I am now in America sitting at my grandfather's house. I was crying out to God about my life and as I was about to get my journal and write I decided that maybe I should put all this on my blog instead so everyone can kind of know whats going on in my life and my heart. So more than a blog entry I guess this is like a journal entry that I am blogging... or something...
Art for Africa was a huge success, glory to God! It was probably the most fun and fulfilling experience of my entire life. The day of the final performance I was in absolute awe as it was everything I had seen in the vision God gave me. It was such a beautiful experience. I still cant believe that I was actually blessed with the opportunity to experience it. I would love to do something like that more permenantly. Like, establish a program like that which could be sustainable because the impact it made on the kids and especially on me was huge and incredible!
The performance was at 5pm on November 15th. After the last line was said and all the bows were taken "Art for Africa" was officially over. It was very wierd for me because my whole life was dedicated to make Art for Africa become a reality for so long. I wanted it so badly and was determined to make it happen, so once it was happening I was in heaven. But, I never thought about what was going to happen after it was over. I just never thought that far ahead. I was actually quite shockingly sad when it finished. I had to go through a little grieving period. "Art for Africa" was such a huge part of my life my life even before it happened. I was preparing for it and dreaming about it for a very long time. It was what I did and what I talked about, then it was over and I had no idea what I was going to do next.
So to make a long story short I had to leave South Africa two months after the project was over because I ran out of money. During my two month vacation of sorts I began job hunting because having a paying job after living in another country for a whole year and working for free is essential! So, after going over all of the facts I decided that the best thing for me to do was to take a teaching job in South Korea. The pay is great. I would not only be able to get back on my feet, but I would also be able able to pay off a big chunk of my student loans if I worked there for a year. It seemed like the perfect opportunity especially since working in Atlanta was basically not an option since I have no car or money to buy one and therefore no way to get back and forth to work. So I figured that working in South Korea would be great financially, fit perfectly into my situation, be really fun, and on top of everything I would get to travel! So I took the job, but all along I had a bit of an uneasy feeling about it, like I just didnt want to go and didnt feel like I was going. For the past couple months I have been preparing for Korea and waiting for all my paperwork for my visa, but 2 weeks ago I really began to feel God tugging on my heart. He knows my heart and he knows that my heart is not in Korea. I was going for all the wrong reasons and hadn't waited for him to tell me weather or not to go, I just made the decision for myself and began making preperations. In the beginning my rationale for not following my heart was that this was something I had to do because of circumstance. It was a sacrifice I had to make because I hadn't made any money last year and because I have student loans to pay. But when God confronted me about it, there was no hiding for me. After a lot of prayer and just seeking God about it, it became resoundingly clear to me that it was not God's will for me to go to South Korea and going would actually just be an act of blatant disobedience and me going back to my control freak,desperate way of living-trying to do everything on my own instead of surrending the path of my life to Yaweh. So about three days ago I made the decision to obey God in this matter and not go to South Korea. It is very scary for me and I am having a really hard time with it. The day after I made the decision all of these doors started opening up for me in South Africa, and it made me very angry and confused. I dont understand why God would even allow these wonderful opportunities to come my way when I absolutely can not afford them. I know that His timing is perfect, but my flesh is screaming "GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I CANNOT AFFORD TO DO ANOTHER PROJECT IN AFRICA RIGHT NOW! I NEED MONEY! I NEED A REAL JOB!" I know its kind of silly for me to yell these things at God who created the universe and time and me and everything else, but I cant help it. After last year I just dont have the faith to believe that I can raise another $10,000 to do another project on Cape Town after having raised all the money I raised last year. I have sucked all of my resources dry when it comes to fundraising.I would much rather just work a job and save money myself and then go back to Africa next year. That way I wouldn't have to ask for donations or spend so many months searching for grants. However, all of that being said I love God more than myself, so I am willing to obey Him and do whatever He tells me to do weather it makes sense to me or not.
So now that I am not going to Korea I am praying about whats next for me. In the meantime I am searching for a job. I would love to be an international flight attendant so that I could travel and see the world, but also be able to fly to Africa for free whenever I want and do short term missions there. I also would also really like to get back into theatre. I've been missing acting lately. So I guess we will see what God says. Please everyone if you have a moment just say a prayer for me. I really want to obey God. That is what I want most. So please just pray that He give me direction and give me grace to follow Him. Also, if it is his will please pray that he open a door for employment for me or provide finances for my next project in South Africa and give me faith to believe it can happen again.
Love and light,
Britt :)
I am now in America sitting at my grandfather's house. I was crying out to God about my life and as I was about to get my journal and write I decided that maybe I should put all this on my blog instead so everyone can kind of know whats going on in my life and my heart. So more than a blog entry I guess this is like a journal entry that I am blogging... or something...
Art for Africa was a huge success, glory to God! It was probably the most fun and fulfilling experience of my entire life. The day of the final performance I was in absolute awe as it was everything I had seen in the vision God gave me. It was such a beautiful experience. I still cant believe that I was actually blessed with the opportunity to experience it. I would love to do something like that more permenantly. Like, establish a program like that which could be sustainable because the impact it made on the kids and especially on me was huge and incredible!
The performance was at 5pm on November 15th. After the last line was said and all the bows were taken "Art for Africa" was officially over. It was very wierd for me because my whole life was dedicated to make Art for Africa become a reality for so long. I wanted it so badly and was determined to make it happen, so once it was happening I was in heaven. But, I never thought about what was going to happen after it was over. I just never thought that far ahead. I was actually quite shockingly sad when it finished. I had to go through a little grieving period. "Art for Africa" was such a huge part of my life my life even before it happened. I was preparing for it and dreaming about it for a very long time. It was what I did and what I talked about, then it was over and I had no idea what I was going to do next.
So to make a long story short I had to leave South Africa two months after the project was over because I ran out of money. During my two month vacation of sorts I began job hunting because having a paying job after living in another country for a whole year and working for free is essential! So, after going over all of the facts I decided that the best thing for me to do was to take a teaching job in South Korea. The pay is great. I would not only be able to get back on my feet, but I would also be able able to pay off a big chunk of my student loans if I worked there for a year. It seemed like the perfect opportunity especially since working in Atlanta was basically not an option since I have no car or money to buy one and therefore no way to get back and forth to work. So I figured that working in South Korea would be great financially, fit perfectly into my situation, be really fun, and on top of everything I would get to travel! So I took the job, but all along I had a bit of an uneasy feeling about it, like I just didnt want to go and didnt feel like I was going. For the past couple months I have been preparing for Korea and waiting for all my paperwork for my visa, but 2 weeks ago I really began to feel God tugging on my heart. He knows my heart and he knows that my heart is not in Korea. I was going for all the wrong reasons and hadn't waited for him to tell me weather or not to go, I just made the decision for myself and began making preperations. In the beginning my rationale for not following my heart was that this was something I had to do because of circumstance. It was a sacrifice I had to make because I hadn't made any money last year and because I have student loans to pay. But when God confronted me about it, there was no hiding for me. After a lot of prayer and just seeking God about it, it became resoundingly clear to me that it was not God's will for me to go to South Korea and going would actually just be an act of blatant disobedience and me going back to my control freak,desperate way of living-trying to do everything on my own instead of surrending the path of my life to Yaweh. So about three days ago I made the decision to obey God in this matter and not go to South Korea. It is very scary for me and I am having a really hard time with it. The day after I made the decision all of these doors started opening up for me in South Africa, and it made me very angry and confused. I dont understand why God would even allow these wonderful opportunities to come my way when I absolutely can not afford them. I know that His timing is perfect, but my flesh is screaming "GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I CANNOT AFFORD TO DO ANOTHER PROJECT IN AFRICA RIGHT NOW! I NEED MONEY! I NEED A REAL JOB!" I know its kind of silly for me to yell these things at God who created the universe and time and me and everything else, but I cant help it. After last year I just dont have the faith to believe that I can raise another $10,000 to do another project on Cape Town after having raised all the money I raised last year. I have sucked all of my resources dry when it comes to fundraising.I would much rather just work a job and save money myself and then go back to Africa next year. That way I wouldn't have to ask for donations or spend so many months searching for grants. However, all of that being said I love God more than myself, so I am willing to obey Him and do whatever He tells me to do weather it makes sense to me or not.
So now that I am not going to Korea I am praying about whats next for me. In the meantime I am searching for a job. I would love to be an international flight attendant so that I could travel and see the world, but also be able to fly to Africa for free whenever I want and do short term missions there. I also would also really like to get back into theatre. I've been missing acting lately. So I guess we will see what God says. Please everyone if you have a moment just say a prayer for me. I really want to obey God. That is what I want most. So please just pray that He give me direction and give me grace to follow Him. Also, if it is his will please pray that he open a door for employment for me or provide finances for my next project in South Africa and give me faith to believe it can happen again.
Love and light,
Britt :)
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Children with the Heart of God
Today was an absolutely amazing day at work. To give you some back story, I have been feeling kind of restless about my work lately. Initially I was having a lot of trouble with the school because the sports coaches kept pulling my kids out for practices during drama class time. After weeks and weeks of trying to reach a fair compromise with Mr. Maquina (the head of sports) it came to a point where I had to make the children choose between sports and drama. I didn’t want to do that because it meant so much to the school administration that the students could do both, but having class became impossible. Every day it was something different. I was always missing at least half of my class because of some sports practice or event. So after a week of what felt like pulling teeth I finally got everyone together for a meeting. One Friday afternoon the 2 women that help me (Nonyomeko and Natalie), Mr. Maquina, myself and all the sports coaches had a meeting in which we reached a compromise: the children would have drama class on Mondays, Tuesday s and Saturday s and they would have sports activities the other four days of the week. Although I was sad to lose so much time with them I understood that it was only fair because drama and sports are equally beneficial and important.
As I expected, even the first day of the new schedule my class time was infringed upon for an impromptu soccer event. The next day was the same thing. So I put my foot down and in front of Mr. Maquina and the principal of the school explained to the children that they had to choose one or the other because of scheduling conflicts. I explained to them the importance of both drama and sports and made sure they understood that they should choose based on their own passion for each subject and not based on the teachers or pressure given from either side. After this tearful explanation and what I thought would be my final class because all of my students would leave drama where I’m so hard on them and expectations are so high for sports where they get to run and jump around and be carefree children. But to my surprise only one child left drama for sports and after being away for maybe twenty minutes he came back and said he’d made a mistake and he wanted to stay in drama class. He said he’d only chosen sports so that Mr. Maquina wouldn’t be angry with him. Because of all if this Mr. Maquina was extremely angry with me and told me never to ask him for anything ever again. But, if I didn’t make this executive decision the coaches would have just continued walking all over me and disrespecting my time and my class so I’d rather just bite the bullet and endure his anger.
But coincidentally the week after all of this occurred the teachers decided to go on strike. They’ve been on strike for two and a half weeks and its going to last an additional three weeks after which is spring break. In a nutshell my students are unfairly missing out on two whole months of seventh grade which is going to hinder them so greatly next year when they enter into high school (which begins with 8th grade here). I don’t understand how no one else here sees how huge of a problem this is… I think it’s absolutely absurd. Since the schools are closed we once again had to begin having class outside which is really difficult with the stuff we’re working on now. Also we only have a very small portion of our students because we have no way of communicating with the kids (except squeezing our huge car through the tiny roads in the township looking for kids to shout information to out of our car window that only works when it feels like it) to tell them that we are not striking like the rest of the teachers. So after a couple weeks of feeling really discouraged and almost getting to the point where I’d decided to just prematurely end the project before it began to fizzle away I talked to the Lord about it and He told me to persevere, which I did! And today I received my reward!
I have officially rented out a hall to hold our class in! It’s beautiful and so affordable- only R43 (about $6) per hour. I love it soooo much! It’s like a theatre with a stage and everything! It’s literally exactly what I envisioned when I thought this project up. It’s pretty much exactly like Lang Carson which is the hall we used to have YEA rehearsals in. The kids’ faces when they walked in were priceless! It made all the stress and money absolutely worth it! They were so pumped! We were in there for the first time today. My class has dwindled from the original 60 down to 42 this semester which is a much more manageable and enjoyable number. But because of the strike and lack of communication over the next few weeks its just 10 kids, Natalie, Nonyameko and myself so it’s very intimate.
Today was so amazing because we had what Freddie used to call a “round table” session. We sat our chairs in a circle and we had a deep conversation which is the seed for our next project. We base the play off of things that come out during the round table session. We interviewed each child about him/her self and the things that came out of their mouths were amazing/awful/inspirational/unbelievable/detestable/artistic/raw/beautiful/unmentionable- the perfect ingredients for one hell of a play! We only had time for eight interviews but here are the highlights from a few:
Masixole- 14 year old boy:
He said that the two things he loves most in this world are God and people. That was so beautiful to me because Jesus commands us to firstly love God with all of our hearts, souls and minds and secondly love our neighbor as ourselves (Matt 22:37-39). Therefore Masixole at the age of 14 just naturally has the heart of Jesus. He went on to tell me about how he wants to be a preacher. But it doesn’t stop there. He has started his own church branch with some youth from his home church and he is the pastor! This child really loves the Lord, its amazing! He talked about how his mother whom he loves very much is not a Christian. He prays for her to come to God everyday and he really believes that God is going to answer that prayer someday soon. His mother is a widow of two years. His father died from an “unknown disease” two years ago. He misses his father very much, but his mother is a great stand in. He says, “When I need a father she is a father to me. When I need a mother she is my mother.” His ultimate goal in life is to please God and become a great man.
Esethu-12 year old girl:
She began by saying, “I am who I am and I am what I am”. I’m not really sure what she meant by that, but I found it intriguing. She wants to be a judge so that she can stop sexual abuse of children. She told us the story of a young girl in her family that was raped at a very young age by a neighbor. She talked about how the girl totally changed after that. She was such a sad and closed child, her innocence was totally gone. It really affected Esethu and gave her a heart for young girls who are raped. She said that when she is a judge she will put all the abusers in jail. When I asked her if she had any final comments she wanted to make to the world she said she wanted to tell her country that they must be strong. That’s Esethu for you- my little activist.
Elihle- 13 year old girl
Elihle is stunningly beautiful. It’s the first and most noticeable thing about her. She is outwardly beautiful and she also has this inner beauty that radiates from inside her. It’s so huge, inescapable really. I asked her if she knows how beautiful she is and she replied with the most humble but confident and adorable “yes”. She said she is beautiful because she tells herself that she’s beautiful and her mother tells her that she is beautiful then she smiled that sunshine smile of hers. When I asked her to describe her house she described a little orange house with one bedroom, a kitchen, a toilet, and a dining room that sits in the middle of a huge crime zone but according to her is a little abode of safety. She said that when she is at home she feels absolutely happy and safe but when she steps outdoors is when she starts to feel afraid. Afraid of what? “The many people that are raping us and the criminals and the guns”. Elihle’s favorite memory is her grandmother’s 60th birthday. She loved it so much because her gogo looked so happy and was smiling a lot and because her family was all around. She ended with her signature smile that pulls a bit to the right and only shows her teeth at the very end.
Thandile- 14 year old girl
Thandile’s story was very inspirational. It’s really a story of faith. She told us about her parents’ divorce which happened years and years ago. They divorced because her mother got pregnant by a white man that lives in the town. They are now in a relationship and Thandile says the man is very nice, but her deepest yearning is for her parents to love each other again. Her father told her that because of the white man he doesn’t love her mother anymore, but Thandile prays every night for them to get back together. She lives in Cape Town with her father, and her mother and the other children live in a rural area in the Eastern Cape. Because her father is a single parent Thandile is frequently left home alone. One day she was awakened by the sound of an intruder and she was alone in the house. She tried to hide, but the man found her. She said in that moment she was very scared so she prayed. She asked God to come down and wrap her up in his wings and told him that if it was his will for her to be raped at this time then let his will be done, but if it wasn’t then may he rescue her which thank God he did. “Not my will, but thy will be done”(Matt 26:39): another child with the heart of Jesus. Wow.
Linda- 14 year old girl:
Linda began by telling us how much of a positive impact drama class is having on her life. She is staying off the streets and focused on what she’s learning. She is no longer getting into fights or hanging with the wrong crowd. Her family is very proud of her. But the story she told us after that was absolutely heart breaking. Linda has a problem with food. Everyone knows it; it what she’s known for. She’s overweight and she’s a bully, loves punking smaller children into giving her their food. But Linda’s food problem is not one simply of malice. She finds something in food that she can’t find anywhere else: love. Linda’s first time having sex was last year. She went with some of her older friends to a man’s house who gave them beer, meat, and candy in exchange for her virginity which she felt was a fair trade. He also offered them R200 (about $28) for each “round”, but Linda explained that she didn’t care about the money she just wanted the food. As she told the story she giggled to try and cover up the pain, but it wasn’t long before the tears she was desperately trying to hold back began to gloss over her eyes. For the first time since I’ve known her I was able to see through Linda’s tough-girl façade to the softer her, the hurting her, the ruined her. Thankfully her HIV test came out negative and her “sugar daddy” was put in jail, but it’s not long before that hunger she tries to satisfy with food becomes uncontrollable again. How low will she stoop next time? When will someone step in and address the actual problem instead of the effects of the problem? Where will Linda be five years from now?
These are only a few of the stories, but as you can see there is so much there. There is no need for me to have them make up stories when their own are so interesting! I must say that many of the stories made me very sad, but more than that they made me happy because the kids are opening their mouths and saying telling them; that’s the first step. I feel like these stories are the beginning of the end of child rape, child prostitution, HIV, crime and much more. I’m so happy these few pre-teens after less than a year of drama class are beginning to tear down the walls of fear and use their voices as their weapons. It’s very inspiring. After class I treated them to dinner at Spur which is like the Applebee’s of South Africa. We had a really wonderful time, lots of smiles and laughter and love. And love is the ultimate goal after all isn’t it? <3
As I expected, even the first day of the new schedule my class time was infringed upon for an impromptu soccer event. The next day was the same thing. So I put my foot down and in front of Mr. Maquina and the principal of the school explained to the children that they had to choose one or the other because of scheduling conflicts. I explained to them the importance of both drama and sports and made sure they understood that they should choose based on their own passion for each subject and not based on the teachers or pressure given from either side. After this tearful explanation and what I thought would be my final class because all of my students would leave drama where I’m so hard on them and expectations are so high for sports where they get to run and jump around and be carefree children. But to my surprise only one child left drama for sports and after being away for maybe twenty minutes he came back and said he’d made a mistake and he wanted to stay in drama class. He said he’d only chosen sports so that Mr. Maquina wouldn’t be angry with him. Because of all if this Mr. Maquina was extremely angry with me and told me never to ask him for anything ever again. But, if I didn’t make this executive decision the coaches would have just continued walking all over me and disrespecting my time and my class so I’d rather just bite the bullet and endure his anger.
But coincidentally the week after all of this occurred the teachers decided to go on strike. They’ve been on strike for two and a half weeks and its going to last an additional three weeks after which is spring break. In a nutshell my students are unfairly missing out on two whole months of seventh grade which is going to hinder them so greatly next year when they enter into high school (which begins with 8th grade here). I don’t understand how no one else here sees how huge of a problem this is… I think it’s absolutely absurd. Since the schools are closed we once again had to begin having class outside which is really difficult with the stuff we’re working on now. Also we only have a very small portion of our students because we have no way of communicating with the kids (except squeezing our huge car through the tiny roads in the township looking for kids to shout information to out of our car window that only works when it feels like it) to tell them that we are not striking like the rest of the teachers. So after a couple weeks of feeling really discouraged and almost getting to the point where I’d decided to just prematurely end the project before it began to fizzle away I talked to the Lord about it and He told me to persevere, which I did! And today I received my reward!
I have officially rented out a hall to hold our class in! It’s beautiful and so affordable- only R43 (about $6) per hour. I love it soooo much! It’s like a theatre with a stage and everything! It’s literally exactly what I envisioned when I thought this project up. It’s pretty much exactly like Lang Carson which is the hall we used to have YEA rehearsals in. The kids’ faces when they walked in were priceless! It made all the stress and money absolutely worth it! They were so pumped! We were in there for the first time today. My class has dwindled from the original 60 down to 42 this semester which is a much more manageable and enjoyable number. But because of the strike and lack of communication over the next few weeks its just 10 kids, Natalie, Nonyameko and myself so it’s very intimate.
Today was so amazing because we had what Freddie used to call a “round table” session. We sat our chairs in a circle and we had a deep conversation which is the seed for our next project. We base the play off of things that come out during the round table session. We interviewed each child about him/her self and the things that came out of their mouths were amazing/awful/inspirational/unbelievable/detestable/artistic/raw/beautiful/unmentionable- the perfect ingredients for one hell of a play! We only had time for eight interviews but here are the highlights from a few:
Masixole- 14 year old boy:
He said that the two things he loves most in this world are God and people. That was so beautiful to me because Jesus commands us to firstly love God with all of our hearts, souls and minds and secondly love our neighbor as ourselves (Matt 22:37-39). Therefore Masixole at the age of 14 just naturally has the heart of Jesus. He went on to tell me about how he wants to be a preacher. But it doesn’t stop there. He has started his own church branch with some youth from his home church and he is the pastor! This child really loves the Lord, its amazing! He talked about how his mother whom he loves very much is not a Christian. He prays for her to come to God everyday and he really believes that God is going to answer that prayer someday soon. His mother is a widow of two years. His father died from an “unknown disease” two years ago. He misses his father very much, but his mother is a great stand in. He says, “When I need a father she is a father to me. When I need a mother she is my mother.” His ultimate goal in life is to please God and become a great man.
Esethu-12 year old girl:
She began by saying, “I am who I am and I am what I am”. I’m not really sure what she meant by that, but I found it intriguing. She wants to be a judge so that she can stop sexual abuse of children. She told us the story of a young girl in her family that was raped at a very young age by a neighbor. She talked about how the girl totally changed after that. She was such a sad and closed child, her innocence was totally gone. It really affected Esethu and gave her a heart for young girls who are raped. She said that when she is a judge she will put all the abusers in jail. When I asked her if she had any final comments she wanted to make to the world she said she wanted to tell her country that they must be strong. That’s Esethu for you- my little activist.
Elihle- 13 year old girl
Elihle is stunningly beautiful. It’s the first and most noticeable thing about her. She is outwardly beautiful and she also has this inner beauty that radiates from inside her. It’s so huge, inescapable really. I asked her if she knows how beautiful she is and she replied with the most humble but confident and adorable “yes”. She said she is beautiful because she tells herself that she’s beautiful and her mother tells her that she is beautiful then she smiled that sunshine smile of hers. When I asked her to describe her house she described a little orange house with one bedroom, a kitchen, a toilet, and a dining room that sits in the middle of a huge crime zone but according to her is a little abode of safety. She said that when she is at home she feels absolutely happy and safe but when she steps outdoors is when she starts to feel afraid. Afraid of what? “The many people that are raping us and the criminals and the guns”. Elihle’s favorite memory is her grandmother’s 60th birthday. She loved it so much because her gogo looked so happy and was smiling a lot and because her family was all around. She ended with her signature smile that pulls a bit to the right and only shows her teeth at the very end.
Thandile- 14 year old girl
Thandile’s story was very inspirational. It’s really a story of faith. She told us about her parents’ divorce which happened years and years ago. They divorced because her mother got pregnant by a white man that lives in the town. They are now in a relationship and Thandile says the man is very nice, but her deepest yearning is for her parents to love each other again. Her father told her that because of the white man he doesn’t love her mother anymore, but Thandile prays every night for them to get back together. She lives in Cape Town with her father, and her mother and the other children live in a rural area in the Eastern Cape. Because her father is a single parent Thandile is frequently left home alone. One day she was awakened by the sound of an intruder and she was alone in the house. She tried to hide, but the man found her. She said in that moment she was very scared so she prayed. She asked God to come down and wrap her up in his wings and told him that if it was his will for her to be raped at this time then let his will be done, but if it wasn’t then may he rescue her which thank God he did. “Not my will, but thy will be done”(Matt 26:39): another child with the heart of Jesus. Wow.
Linda- 14 year old girl:
Linda began by telling us how much of a positive impact drama class is having on her life. She is staying off the streets and focused on what she’s learning. She is no longer getting into fights or hanging with the wrong crowd. Her family is very proud of her. But the story she told us after that was absolutely heart breaking. Linda has a problem with food. Everyone knows it; it what she’s known for. She’s overweight and she’s a bully, loves punking smaller children into giving her their food. But Linda’s food problem is not one simply of malice. She finds something in food that she can’t find anywhere else: love. Linda’s first time having sex was last year. She went with some of her older friends to a man’s house who gave them beer, meat, and candy in exchange for her virginity which she felt was a fair trade. He also offered them R200 (about $28) for each “round”, but Linda explained that she didn’t care about the money she just wanted the food. As she told the story she giggled to try and cover up the pain, but it wasn’t long before the tears she was desperately trying to hold back began to gloss over her eyes. For the first time since I’ve known her I was able to see through Linda’s tough-girl façade to the softer her, the hurting her, the ruined her. Thankfully her HIV test came out negative and her “sugar daddy” was put in jail, but it’s not long before that hunger she tries to satisfy with food becomes uncontrollable again. How low will she stoop next time? When will someone step in and address the actual problem instead of the effects of the problem? Where will Linda be five years from now?
These are only a few of the stories, but as you can see there is so much there. There is no need for me to have them make up stories when their own are so interesting! I must say that many of the stories made me very sad, but more than that they made me happy because the kids are opening their mouths and saying telling them; that’s the first step. I feel like these stories are the beginning of the end of child rape, child prostitution, HIV, crime and much more. I’m so happy these few pre-teens after less than a year of drama class are beginning to tear down the walls of fear and use their voices as their weapons. It’s very inspiring. After class I treated them to dinner at Spur which is like the Applebee’s of South Africa. We had a really wonderful time, lots of smiles and laughter and love. And love is the ultimate goal after all isn’t it? <3
Mighty to save
My new computer has arrived, let the blogging begin!
Today is August 30th 2010, and the Brittanie writing this entry is a totally different Brittanie than the one who wrote the last entry three months ago. I usually begin by saying that I don’t know where to begin, but at this point in my life the beginning is obvious, it’s unquestionable and absolute like the end. One of my favorite quotes is from Eat, Pray, Love and it says, “Look for God, look for God like a man with his head on fire looks for water”, and after a lifetime (a short lifetime, but a lifetime nonetheless) of tirelessly exploring God and searching diligently for Him and being on a tedious spiritual journey I have finally found God and for the first time in my life I can say with no disclaimers or hidden guilt that I am a Christian. I am a follower of Christ. I’ve been born again and I have dedicated my life to God.
I know this may seem a bit strange to some because I’ve always had a close relationship with God. I’ve always prayed and seeked God’s face, but Christianity has always scared me. I honestly thought it was a bit cult-ish. I disagreed with the idea that there is only one way to God and that’s through Jesus. I didn’t believe that the bible could actually be the unbiased word of God because it was written by men. I felt condemned so I just always stayed close to God, went to Christian church, but NEVER called myself a Christian so as to not be tied down by the “rules”. Thank God that He’s a patient God and that he will wait for us because as most of you know I’m not the kind of person who can just accept something because someone else tells me that it’s true. I have a pretty rebellious spirit and I want to see things for myself. I learn from experience. I’m the girl that has to get burnt by the fire before I believe that it’s hot, my Mommy’s warning was never sufficient. I am the same way when it comes to spirituality. Just because my family is Christian and because some book tells me that a man named Jesus that I’ve never seen came down and died for my sins doesn’t make me believe it. I have to see it; I have to experience it to believe it. God knew that so He’s given me just that: an experience. He revealed his truth to me, the truth of the trinity, and the truth of His Word, and most of all the truth of his love. The truth that I cannot just make God out to be what makes me feel comfortable, but I have to listen to the Holy Spirit and read my bible and get to know Him for who he actually is. He has healed the broken image I had of Him loving and slowly. I had to make a decision to turn, to accept that I was born sinful and had sinful desires. I had to make a conscious decision to let the Holy Spirit in and turn from a life of sin and decide to follow Jesus not just when it comes to the easy things like not stealing or cheating people, but the hard things like patience and purity and giving selflessly too.
I have found a wonderful church home, totally turned away from my life of pleasing my flesh in order to please God. I try my best to die to myself everyday and truly live through the spirit. I’ve found some wonderful earthly angels and mentors to help me with my walk. Because of the conviction of the spirit in me I’ve changed my lifestyle, the way I talk, the way I think, my goals. I’ve just been praying that God totally change my heart and make my heart a reflection of His, that He make His desires my desires, that the things that break His heart begin to break mine. It’s difficult because some of my closest friends have begun to pull away because things we once connected on I no longer engage in and because certain things I was absolutely sure about before I now absolutely disagree with. But even in the struggles I know God is glorified so its totally worth it. I’ve never felt more joy in my life, never felt so full and complete. God’s perfect love has just poured down on me so exponentially over the past six months and I’ve just fallen so absolutely head over heels in love with Him. There’s nowhere I’d rather be than in His presence and there’s nothing I want more in life than to please Him.
Today is August 30th 2010, and the Brittanie writing this entry is a totally different Brittanie than the one who wrote the last entry three months ago. I usually begin by saying that I don’t know where to begin, but at this point in my life the beginning is obvious, it’s unquestionable and absolute like the end. One of my favorite quotes is from Eat, Pray, Love and it says, “Look for God, look for God like a man with his head on fire looks for water”, and after a lifetime (a short lifetime, but a lifetime nonetheless) of tirelessly exploring God and searching diligently for Him and being on a tedious spiritual journey I have finally found God and for the first time in my life I can say with no disclaimers or hidden guilt that I am a Christian. I am a follower of Christ. I’ve been born again and I have dedicated my life to God.
I know this may seem a bit strange to some because I’ve always had a close relationship with God. I’ve always prayed and seeked God’s face, but Christianity has always scared me. I honestly thought it was a bit cult-ish. I disagreed with the idea that there is only one way to God and that’s through Jesus. I didn’t believe that the bible could actually be the unbiased word of God because it was written by men. I felt condemned so I just always stayed close to God, went to Christian church, but NEVER called myself a Christian so as to not be tied down by the “rules”. Thank God that He’s a patient God and that he will wait for us because as most of you know I’m not the kind of person who can just accept something because someone else tells me that it’s true. I have a pretty rebellious spirit and I want to see things for myself. I learn from experience. I’m the girl that has to get burnt by the fire before I believe that it’s hot, my Mommy’s warning was never sufficient. I am the same way when it comes to spirituality. Just because my family is Christian and because some book tells me that a man named Jesus that I’ve never seen came down and died for my sins doesn’t make me believe it. I have to see it; I have to experience it to believe it. God knew that so He’s given me just that: an experience. He revealed his truth to me, the truth of the trinity, and the truth of His Word, and most of all the truth of his love. The truth that I cannot just make God out to be what makes me feel comfortable, but I have to listen to the Holy Spirit and read my bible and get to know Him for who he actually is. He has healed the broken image I had of Him loving and slowly. I had to make a decision to turn, to accept that I was born sinful and had sinful desires. I had to make a conscious decision to let the Holy Spirit in and turn from a life of sin and decide to follow Jesus not just when it comes to the easy things like not stealing or cheating people, but the hard things like patience and purity and giving selflessly too.
I have found a wonderful church home, totally turned away from my life of pleasing my flesh in order to please God. I try my best to die to myself everyday and truly live through the spirit. I’ve found some wonderful earthly angels and mentors to help me with my walk. Because of the conviction of the spirit in me I’ve changed my lifestyle, the way I talk, the way I think, my goals. I’ve just been praying that God totally change my heart and make my heart a reflection of His, that He make His desires my desires, that the things that break His heart begin to break mine. It’s difficult because some of my closest friends have begun to pull away because things we once connected on I no longer engage in and because certain things I was absolutely sure about before I now absolutely disagree with. But even in the struggles I know God is glorified so its totally worth it. I’ve never felt more joy in my life, never felt so full and complete. God’s perfect love has just poured down on me so exponentially over the past six months and I’ve just fallen so absolutely head over heels in love with Him. There’s nowhere I’d rather be than in His presence and there’s nothing I want more in life than to please Him.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Love Never Fails
So at the end of my last post I said I would blog as soon as I received my congratulations letter. That did not happen, however you had to be hiding under a rock to not hear the great news. I told everyone I know. Which means that all of you beautiful people are already well aware. But, for blogging's sake (and simply because I love the way it sounds) let me repeat: I, Brittanie Richardson, am a recipient of the Ella Lyman Cabot Trust Grant. Now, im sure anyone who was to recieve this grant would be ecstatic, however I have to steal a few lines of this post to explain why in the world this means so much to me.
You see the last time I was in South Africa God and I had a little talk. It was the day that I went to the school for the first time and saw the vision of myself and all the kids around me and heard a voice from inside of me say "this is what you are supposed to be doing". That night I went home to the guest house I was staying at and I prayed. I prayed one of those conversation prayers though, you know the ones where you just really level with God and talk to him like he's your best friend? Well, yeah, I prayed one of those. I told Him how much I loved the work I did that day at the school. I thanked Him for the vision I recieved and told Him that I would absolutely love to see it come to pass. I said that I understood that He was calling me back to this particular country to work at this particular school with these particular kids. I commited myself to that calling and promised do all I could to make it come to pass. Above all of that though, my prayer was a prayer of surrender. I confessed to God that although I wanted so badly for this to come to pass I had no idea what to do to make it happen. How in the world could I afford to come back to South Africa alone and create a theatre program?!? I couldnt. So I surrendered it all to God. I said "Lord, if this is your will please provide for me". I put all my trust in God to make my dream come true. For the first time in my life ever I totally surrendered to God. I had absolute faith in this matter, unshakable faith that God would make a way for me. So I started saying to people "Im moving to South Africa to do drama work with children infected or affected by HIV/AIDS". I moved from my apartment in Philly and sold all of my furniture and most of my other belongings to prepare for my move to South Africa. I moved back home to Atlanta so I could live with my grandfather for free as I payed off bills to prepare for my move to South Africa. I set a date and secured a plane ticket to prepare for my move to South Africa. I had made my mind up, I was moving to South Africa.
But, if you took a look at my bank account it didnt look as if I was moving to South Africa. It looked like I was barely staying above water right where I was. I started a fundraising campaign with my dear friend Justin called "Art for Africa". The first fundraiser was held in Philly and I was sure that I would raise the bulk of the money then. The week of the event I did a 3 day fast where I prayed to God for $10,000 from this fundraiser. I invited loads of popular, and more importantly RICH Philadelphians. I invited the presidents of all the local universities, chairmen on every arts counsil around, the board members from all the local theatres, all of my college professors and UARTS connections, EVERYONE! But on the night of the event the room was filled with homeless people from the shelter I worked at (I told them they could come for free for obvious reasons) and my friends who had come to support me. Other than that there were only 2 other women there who had actually come because they had recieved an invitation. At first glance I thought the night was going to be a bust. How the hell was I gunna raise $10,000 from a room full of homeless people and college students?! But that night turned out to be one of the best, if not the best, nights of my life. All of the performers whom were all performing for free put their whole heart into their performances. They were all so incredibly beautiful! The love in the room that night was almost tangible. Two of my kids from the shelter made a speech and they did such an amazing job. The food was great, the people were great, the atmosphere was great, the art was beyond great. By the end of the night there was not a dry eye in the room. Everyone was so moved and inspired. It was absolutely perfect. So at the end of the night I realized that maybe the reason for that event wasnt to make $10,000 after all. Maybe it was simply a night for some people who really needed it to get together and experience God's love. The same thing happened at every other "Art for Africa" fundraiser I had. I never raised that $10,000, but every event was absolutely beautiful and people left feeling loved, inspired and full of joy.
So even after the last fundraiser and even as I was packing my bags to come here I never lost the faith. I never got discouraged. I kept believeing that God's word was true and that He keeps His promises so I believed that I would be getting that $10,000. Three months later not only did He bless me with ten, He blessed me with $20,000! Its just really a testiment of His faithfulness in my life. The grant writers said that because I've never written for a grant before I needed to write ten proposals in order to recieve one. I wrote one and got it. They also said that the grant makers would only give me half of what I asked for so I asked for $20,000 hoping to recieve $10,000. I recieved every penny of the $20,000 I asked for. That is called favor! God absolutely granted me favor with that Board of Trustees. There is no other way to explain it. He was in that room. He made the decision and it came to pass. So this whole thing just proves to me that when I actually just surrender to God and believe him to be everything that He says He is, He will protect, love and provide for me. That is such a comforting thing to know! The love I feel and the absolute faith that I now feel is just so much greater than what I have previously experienced. And the great thign is that even though this money will eventually go away, eventually be all used up, God never will be! No matter what counrty im in or what im doing He stays the same and will still love, protect and provide for me as long as I believe. Now this my friends, is humbling, conforting, exciting, awe-inspiring news so I just wanted to share it with you.
This was supposed to be a much longer blog about many mroe things but Hazel wants her computer back now so I gotta go.
Love and Light,
Nonceba
You see the last time I was in South Africa God and I had a little talk. It was the day that I went to the school for the first time and saw the vision of myself and all the kids around me and heard a voice from inside of me say "this is what you are supposed to be doing". That night I went home to the guest house I was staying at and I prayed. I prayed one of those conversation prayers though, you know the ones where you just really level with God and talk to him like he's your best friend? Well, yeah, I prayed one of those. I told Him how much I loved the work I did that day at the school. I thanked Him for the vision I recieved and told Him that I would absolutely love to see it come to pass. I said that I understood that He was calling me back to this particular country to work at this particular school with these particular kids. I commited myself to that calling and promised do all I could to make it come to pass. Above all of that though, my prayer was a prayer of surrender. I confessed to God that although I wanted so badly for this to come to pass I had no idea what to do to make it happen. How in the world could I afford to come back to South Africa alone and create a theatre program?!? I couldnt. So I surrendered it all to God. I said "Lord, if this is your will please provide for me". I put all my trust in God to make my dream come true. For the first time in my life ever I totally surrendered to God. I had absolute faith in this matter, unshakable faith that God would make a way for me. So I started saying to people "Im moving to South Africa to do drama work with children infected or affected by HIV/AIDS". I moved from my apartment in Philly and sold all of my furniture and most of my other belongings to prepare for my move to South Africa. I moved back home to Atlanta so I could live with my grandfather for free as I payed off bills to prepare for my move to South Africa. I set a date and secured a plane ticket to prepare for my move to South Africa. I had made my mind up, I was moving to South Africa.
But, if you took a look at my bank account it didnt look as if I was moving to South Africa. It looked like I was barely staying above water right where I was. I started a fundraising campaign with my dear friend Justin called "Art for Africa". The first fundraiser was held in Philly and I was sure that I would raise the bulk of the money then. The week of the event I did a 3 day fast where I prayed to God for $10,000 from this fundraiser. I invited loads of popular, and more importantly RICH Philadelphians. I invited the presidents of all the local universities, chairmen on every arts counsil around, the board members from all the local theatres, all of my college professors and UARTS connections, EVERYONE! But on the night of the event the room was filled with homeless people from the shelter I worked at (I told them they could come for free for obvious reasons) and my friends who had come to support me. Other than that there were only 2 other women there who had actually come because they had recieved an invitation. At first glance I thought the night was going to be a bust. How the hell was I gunna raise $10,000 from a room full of homeless people and college students?! But that night turned out to be one of the best, if not the best, nights of my life. All of the performers whom were all performing for free put their whole heart into their performances. They were all so incredibly beautiful! The love in the room that night was almost tangible. Two of my kids from the shelter made a speech and they did such an amazing job. The food was great, the people were great, the atmosphere was great, the art was beyond great. By the end of the night there was not a dry eye in the room. Everyone was so moved and inspired. It was absolutely perfect. So at the end of the night I realized that maybe the reason for that event wasnt to make $10,000 after all. Maybe it was simply a night for some people who really needed it to get together and experience God's love. The same thing happened at every other "Art for Africa" fundraiser I had. I never raised that $10,000, but every event was absolutely beautiful and people left feeling loved, inspired and full of joy.
So even after the last fundraiser and even as I was packing my bags to come here I never lost the faith. I never got discouraged. I kept believeing that God's word was true and that He keeps His promises so I believed that I would be getting that $10,000. Three months later not only did He bless me with ten, He blessed me with $20,000! Its just really a testiment of His faithfulness in my life. The grant writers said that because I've never written for a grant before I needed to write ten proposals in order to recieve one. I wrote one and got it. They also said that the grant makers would only give me half of what I asked for so I asked for $20,000 hoping to recieve $10,000. I recieved every penny of the $20,000 I asked for. That is called favor! God absolutely granted me favor with that Board of Trustees. There is no other way to explain it. He was in that room. He made the decision and it came to pass. So this whole thing just proves to me that when I actually just surrender to God and believe him to be everything that He says He is, He will protect, love and provide for me. That is such a comforting thing to know! The love I feel and the absolute faith that I now feel is just so much greater than what I have previously experienced. And the great thign is that even though this money will eventually go away, eventually be all used up, God never will be! No matter what counrty im in or what im doing He stays the same and will still love, protect and provide for me as long as I believe. Now this my friends, is humbling, conforting, exciting, awe-inspiring news so I just wanted to share it with you.
This was supposed to be a much longer blog about many mroe things but Hazel wants her computer back now so I gotta go.
Love and Light,
Nonceba
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
The Circle of Life
Rain, rain, go away!! It is officially winter so it is raining like crazy in Cape Town these days! And the thing about rain here is that is always brings friends: heavy wind and bitter chill. Now remember my room is outside so I have no escape from the weather. So me, the rain, and the cold have done some intense bonding over the last week. As annoying as it is for me to stand in the pouring rain and heavy winds as I wait for the bus in the mornings, and as cold as my bed is every night no matter how many blankets I have, there are some things that I absolutely love about this weather. I LOVE laying in my bed at night and listening to the rain. The sound is so loud in my room. Its like being caught in a rain storm and hiding under a tree for shelter. I can see and hear the rain all around me, but I don't get wet. I love it. It's absolutely beautiful.
Although summer is my favorite time of year and I could sit in the sun at the beach my entire life and be totally happy, I do have respect for winter. I do not enjoy it, but I respect it. Winter is a time where things die and are washed away in preparation for the next season of growth. I don't know the verse off of the top of my head, but somewhere in the bible it talks about old things being washed away and all things becoming new. In order for the new, for the next stage of growth to come, some "old" things have to die. That's just the way God intended it. Unfortunately, I learned this all to well this week.
My week was amazing with the kids. As I said in my last blog the orphanage has unfortunately fallen apart since the owner has been in the hospital so most of the kids have vanished, but my work with the kids at the school has been going great!! Sadly, this week is my last week with them because they start exams next week and then go on break for June and July. So after tomorrow I have about 2 months off from work. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself for 2 whole months!
So because its the last week the kids have been working on their final skits for me all week. They have been going really great! There are 4 groups. Each group picked a topic then created, directed, and performed their masterpieces. Tomorrow we are having a last day celebration and they will perform the final products then. I am so excited to watch them! They worked so hard on them and as I've been coaching each skit I have seen the drastic improvement. It brings so much joy to my heart!
However, when I came to work on Monday I got some really upsetting news. One of my children, a young boy, had passed away. Apparently he was not only HIV positive, he had AIDS, and I didn't even know it. He seemed perfectly healthy. He was always running around and doing Micheal Jackson dance moves and volunteering to participate in my demonstrations. I mean he was FULL of life, and then just like that, over the weekend, he is gone. I cant even really describe the feeling that I get when I think about it. I am still kind of in shock. It happened so quickly. The whole situation is just really, really sad.
So yesterday, Tuesday, the school staff held a prayer meeting at the boy's home which of course Natalie and I attended. The funeral is on Saturday. The school has rented a bus to transport us and all the 7th graders to the cemetery after the funeral, but the ceremony will be held at the home as well. As I was sitting in the prayer meeting I was looking around at this boy's home. It was just a tiny little shack handmade from tin and a few wooden planks. It was barely standing up. The wholes in the ceiling were stuffed with grocery bags and other trash to keep the rain out. The "beds" were mattresses on the floor, we had to bring in benches with us to sit on, and the closest toilet was over a block away. I couldn't help but think "My God, these are no ordinary middle class children i'm teaching here". I kept thinking about all I teach them about having big dreams and holding your head up high and using your full voice and using up the entire space on the stage... as I was looking around I just realized how foreign that all sounds to them. I am so hard on them about holding their heads up high when it is physically impossible for them to do so in their own homes! I tell them to use their entire bodies and the entire stage space when they are used to sleeping with multiple people in one bed and trying to take up as little space as possible! My point is: THESE KIDS ARE WORKING HARD!! They are stepping outside of everything they know to succeed in my class. That thought really humbled me. It made me feel as though what i'm teaching them is really making a big difference in their lives. It's opening doors for them and showing them a world they might not otherwise have known exists. I am just so thankful to be able to provide that for them. And as I said before this is the season (literally) for death so that we can prepare for growth and new life in the future. So I am trying not to let my child's death get me down too much, im trying to just remember that its just God making space for all the new and great things He has in store. I was so blessed to have my precious little angel with me for 2 joy-filled months and now I have to focus on creating more and more joy-filled days, months, and hopefully years with the 39 precious angels I have left and hopefully the many more that are to come.
Also, speaking of the good things that are to come, THIS SATURDAY is the day that the Board of Trustees from the Ella Lyman Cabot Trust have their meeting where they decide on who gets the grant money. They will inform us of their decision next week!! Please say a special prayer for me on Saturday that God blesses me with favor so the Board will choose me! WHEN i get my letter of congratulations I will Blog about it right away!
Happy mothers day mothers! Love and light to you all!
"Nonceba"
Although summer is my favorite time of year and I could sit in the sun at the beach my entire life and be totally happy, I do have respect for winter. I do not enjoy it, but I respect it. Winter is a time where things die and are washed away in preparation for the next season of growth. I don't know the verse off of the top of my head, but somewhere in the bible it talks about old things being washed away and all things becoming new. In order for the new, for the next stage of growth to come, some "old" things have to die. That's just the way God intended it. Unfortunately, I learned this all to well this week.
My week was amazing with the kids. As I said in my last blog the orphanage has unfortunately fallen apart since the owner has been in the hospital so most of the kids have vanished, but my work with the kids at the school has been going great!! Sadly, this week is my last week with them because they start exams next week and then go on break for June and July. So after tomorrow I have about 2 months off from work. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself for 2 whole months!
So because its the last week the kids have been working on their final skits for me all week. They have been going really great! There are 4 groups. Each group picked a topic then created, directed, and performed their masterpieces. Tomorrow we are having a last day celebration and they will perform the final products then. I am so excited to watch them! They worked so hard on them and as I've been coaching each skit I have seen the drastic improvement. It brings so much joy to my heart!
However, when I came to work on Monday I got some really upsetting news. One of my children, a young boy, had passed away. Apparently he was not only HIV positive, he had AIDS, and I didn't even know it. He seemed perfectly healthy. He was always running around and doing Micheal Jackson dance moves and volunteering to participate in my demonstrations. I mean he was FULL of life, and then just like that, over the weekend, he is gone. I cant even really describe the feeling that I get when I think about it. I am still kind of in shock. It happened so quickly. The whole situation is just really, really sad.
So yesterday, Tuesday, the school staff held a prayer meeting at the boy's home which of course Natalie and I attended. The funeral is on Saturday. The school has rented a bus to transport us and all the 7th graders to the cemetery after the funeral, but the ceremony will be held at the home as well. As I was sitting in the prayer meeting I was looking around at this boy's home. It was just a tiny little shack handmade from tin and a few wooden planks. It was barely standing up. The wholes in the ceiling were stuffed with grocery bags and other trash to keep the rain out. The "beds" were mattresses on the floor, we had to bring in benches with us to sit on, and the closest toilet was over a block away. I couldn't help but think "My God, these are no ordinary middle class children i'm teaching here". I kept thinking about all I teach them about having big dreams and holding your head up high and using your full voice and using up the entire space on the stage... as I was looking around I just realized how foreign that all sounds to them. I am so hard on them about holding their heads up high when it is physically impossible for them to do so in their own homes! I tell them to use their entire bodies and the entire stage space when they are used to sleeping with multiple people in one bed and trying to take up as little space as possible! My point is: THESE KIDS ARE WORKING HARD!! They are stepping outside of everything they know to succeed in my class. That thought really humbled me. It made me feel as though what i'm teaching them is really making a big difference in their lives. It's opening doors for them and showing them a world they might not otherwise have known exists. I am just so thankful to be able to provide that for them. And as I said before this is the season (literally) for death so that we can prepare for growth and new life in the future. So I am trying not to let my child's death get me down too much, im trying to just remember that its just God making space for all the new and great things He has in store. I was so blessed to have my precious little angel with me for 2 joy-filled months and now I have to focus on creating more and more joy-filled days, months, and hopefully years with the 39 precious angels I have left and hopefully the many more that are to come.
Also, speaking of the good things that are to come, THIS SATURDAY is the day that the Board of Trustees from the Ella Lyman Cabot Trust have their meeting where they decide on who gets the grant money. They will inform us of their decision next week!! Please say a special prayer for me on Saturday that God blesses me with favor so the Board will choose me! WHEN i get my letter of congratulations I will Blog about it right away!
Happy mothers day mothers! Love and light to you all!
"Nonceba"
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