Even when things get rough...

I have been paying close attention to every detail of my life and the way I feel at every moment and why. As usual, I come here with the impression that I am here to help other people, but the reality is that every time I am the one that ends up being worked on. Spirit purposefully guides me here to help others but also to help and heal myself. Isolation works miracles y’all. It brings up all your stuff. It forces you to face things that you try to hide and bury when you are in the comfort of your everyday routine. But being absolutely alone and away from everything that is familiar forces you to lean on God whom forces you to get yourself together… at least that’s always been my experience. These past couple weeks my feelings have been so extreme. Either I am feeling devastating lonely and missing my family and friends and the comfort and familiarity of home sooo badly or I am feeing euphorically and indescribably joyful, happy and at peace. I find that the loneliness comes when something really exciting happens at work or something and I really wish I could call up a friend or family member to share, but I can’t. It’s hard having this amazing experience everyday and not having anyone to share it with. Then I feel that the joy, happiness and peace comes right when I get off of work everyday and reflect on the awesomeness that is my “job”. I literally have the best “job” in the world. There is nothing else that I’d rather be doing. There are things that I want to do next, but at this moment I am totally content. The joy comes in seeing the children growing and improving. They have grown sooooo much! Both the children in the orphanage and my children in my class at the school have soared over the past few weeks. God has really used me to help empower and enrich these children. It’s such an amazing thing to watch! I can’t even describe how much appreciation and peace fills my heart when I leave work everyday. And people always praise me and tell me how great I am, but the crazy thing is it really is not me! I promise you that I really could not do any of this on my own. I am a true living breathing example of what it means for Spirit to work through you. My class has grown even bigger and I now have about 60 kids. Brittanie cannot handle teaching drama to 60 kids, but somehow Spirit just guides me and speaks through me and I am able to handle them all. It’s really an amazing supernatural experience. I just can’t even describe it.
Anyway, lots of great things to report! I finally have an indoor classroom!!! It’s winter here now so the outdoors thing really was no longer working. Also, because there are so many kids my voice doesn’t carry to them all when we are outdoors so acoustically the indoors works so much better. Also, there are a lot less distractions inside. For example, a goat decided to observe my class last week and because I was outdoors there was nothing I could do about it, but now that problem is solved! The space I am using will not be available everyday and people don’t really respect my time there so they just walk through my class making noise whenever they want, but those are problems that can easily be solved. So, I am so grateful for my new indoor rehearsal space!
Also, I’ve been desperately trying to find people to supply food for my program. My class is afterschool and the kids are hungry afterschool so in order to keep their attention and as a reward for choosing to come to drama class instead of going out on the streets and becoming involved in all those negative things out there I need to provide food for them. Nothing big or anything, but at least a little snack. Most of them don’t have food at home as they so vividly explained to me when I asked why they were so aggressive when I pass out the sandwiches. The good news is that even though I did not find a sponsor I realized that I can be the sponsor! I realized that I can use the money I raised to sustain myself here for now to buy food for the kids because I know that God is going to bless me with the Ella Lyman Cabot Trust grant next month so there is no need for me to be so worried about money and sustaining myself here. I only have to get through this month because I have a huge blessing coming next month. So, for the past week Natalie and I have been serving the kids half of sandwich, a piece of fruit, and a cup of juice everyday. It costs me only about $10 American dollars per day to serve all 60 of them ( and I only go there 3 days per week) but each and everyday the children tell us how thankful they are and how they look forward to this meal all day and night so it is so totally worth it and its so incredibly humbling!
In other good news both the orphanage and the school are going a lot better this week than last week. Last week I was feeling pretty defeated and lost, but I kept going and just continued to pray about it and with time and patience everything has come together! The language barrier, my biggest obstacle, seems to be dissipating. I am learning more of their language and they are learning more of mine. We finally have a schedule at the orphanage where we do enriching activities with the children instead of just household tasks. My kids at the school are really coming out of their shells and starting to open up and create great work. They are also beginning to listen better and I don’t have as much trouble with discipline. So, slowly but surely things are coming together. Praise God!
Also I attended an amazing workshop this weekend. It was quite life changing and helped me to heal a lot of wounds that have been left unattended for years. As I said before, I went to the workshop to learn how to help and heal others, but I was the one who really experienced the healing. I also realized at this workshop how important it is for me to heal my wounds so that I can help heal others. As a part of the curriculum in the day care center at Abantwana Benceba we are going to teach the kids the program I learned at the workshop. We are going to do our part in preventing child sexual abuse and the spread of HIV/AIDS in children. The workshop was called Think Twice: Building a Foundation for Healthy Sexuality in Children. Basically it was a workshop for people who work with children which trained us on how to teach 4-7 year olds about healthy sexuality. The main contents were child sexual abuse and HIV/AIDS. Luckily, before going to the workshop I did not know that we would be learning about child sexual abuse because if I had I probably would not have gone. The first day was focused on teaching the kids about body pride and the difference between public and private parts. In the lesson we teach kids the proper terminology for their private parts and use visual aids such as paper stop lights and ‘thumps up’ and ‘thumbs down’ signs to show what parts of their bodies are ‘thumps up’ or ‘green light’ for people to touch (public parts) and which parts are ‘thumbs down’ or ‘red light’ for people to touch (private parts). We show illustrations of al different types of people: strangers, teachers, mothers, fathers, etc. and explain that it is NEVER right for ANYONE to touch you on your private parts. We also teach them three steps to follow if someone touches you on your private parts: 1) scream no! 2) run away (if you can) 3) tell an adult you trust. This lesson is accompanied by lots of fun and educational songs and dances as well as physical concentration boosters to keep the learners attentive and active. So to make a long story short this workshop and the concepts they teach are FABULOUS! I can’t wait to incorporate it into the work that I am doing.
I have a few prayer requests for you guys:
Please pray for my baby. Her name is Magaba. She is HIV positive and extremely sick right now. Please pray for her healing. She is the one you see me holding all the time in the pictures. Please just pray that she not experience any more pain.
Also please pray over the grant I applied for. It’s called the Ella Lyman Cabot Trust grant. Please pray that I receive all the money I asked for and that it makes a huge difference in both my and the children’s lives.
Please pray that God continue to bless me with the means to provide a meal for all the children everyday.
And lastly, please pray that God continue to make me more like Jesus. Pray that he strengthen me spiritually especially in the hard times and continue to humble me so that I may serve His people with a pure heart and without judgment or selfishness.
I love you all very much and thank you for reading.

Prisilla's Home Care Orphanage

So, the schools are out for a two week holiday because of Easter so I haven’t been working at the school for the past week and a half. So instead I’ve been working at the orphanage. I arrive at 10am each morning and stay until about 1 or 2. My experience at the orphanage has been so much more pleasant than I expected. I mean, I have a really great time there. Yes, I do get sad at times, but I just focus on the bright innocence in their eyes that only children have and it keeps me smiling and focused on the positive. The fact that I am actually DOING helps too. I mean, I do a little bit of everything there from cleaning, to cooking (yes, cooking), to feeding kids, to changing their diapers, everything. And it really helps the workers there so much. The fact that I see how much we are not only benefiting the children but the workers too makes me feel good inside. Also everyday Pastor Vusi has sent a team of young people to help along with me as well as Natalie (his sister, my personal translator). Even they are benefiting from this. They had no idea how much their community needs their help until they were brought into this situation. So it’s a whole cycle of just growing and learning and love and compassion. It’s a beautiful experience.
And guys, these kids are a TRIP hahaha!! They have such fiery and distinct personalities. I can’t even understand their language but somehow they still find a way to bend me to their own little desires weather it be a candy they find in my purse or smiling their biggest smile at me which is sign language for “please take a photo of me”. As we’ve discussed, kids here LOVE taking pictures.
I don’t want to waste my blog taking about how in need these kids are because you know already and there are too many happy and precious stories to share that will make you smile so I’d rather tell those. But, because someone reading this may be able to help I will include a list of things that they are in dire need of and if you can help in any way it would be greatly appreciated. This list is for the children of Prisilla’s Home Care Orphanage in Cross Roads for children infected or affected by HIV/AIDS:
• wash rags
(They don’t use tissues or wipes, they use wash rags to clean their little noses and their little buts. At the time we use one towel for all the kids’ noses which only spreads sicknesses. It would be great if each child could have his/her own. There are 32 children.)
• food
(Specifically mealie meal, rice, chicken, butternut, potatoes, milk, sugar, bread, eggs, lunch meat)
• uniforms for the 9 school aged children
(All school children even at public schools must wear them. They cost about $40 each)
• educational games, toys, and teaching supplies
• Household supplies
(Toilet paper, dishwashing liquid, disinfectant, HANDSOAP, washing powder, etc)

Now the great news is, if you are reading this blog you probably know me and therefore have probably donated to this cause already. So, I’d like you to know that because of your generosity we were able to give the kids some wonderful Easter gifts this year! I used some of the money that you donated to buy lots of cool colorful educational but fun toys for the kids. Before now there were no toys in the orphanage. The kids played with their shoes or with trash. I was also able to purchase a whole big bundle of toilet paper, 10 kgs of mealie meal for porridge in the mornings, 5kgs of washing powder, and some disinfectant for the house. I tried to take pictures of the kids faces when I showed them the toys but they were so excited that they were jumping all over me and squealing with delight it was hard to focus and take the pictures. Now THAT is a great feeling! Putting smiles like that on kids faces… its indescribable. So from me, from the kids, from the workers, and from the other volunteers THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone that donated and helped make these kids Easter so amazing. Thank you for your generosity and thoughtfulness. We appreciate it. And you are loved from all the way on this side of the world.
This week I plan on buying finger paint and using recycled paper to let the kids make finger paintings. So, also, thank you in advance for the opportunity to do so.
I love you all! Thanks for reading!

Easter

So this weekend was HUGE here. Easter here is like Christmas in the States except it lasts for four days. I was supposed to go to Paarl with Pastor Vusi and his church for the 4 day long service… we must pause here. Yes, I did say 4 day long church service. And Thursday night the service lasts through the night so you don’t sleep. They act out each scene leading up to the crucifixion of Christ since most of the church is illiterate and therefore can’t read the bible. This lasts all night. They then have a short break only to continue for 2 more days… Now, believe it or not, I really wanted to be a part of this experience. I just wanted to see what it was like. I would think it would be a very sacred and spirit filled experience. Also, they follow the theme of Jesus and the fish and loaves so they only eat fish and bread the entire weekend. This just all seemed like something I had to see! But unfortunately, after talking with Pastor Vusi we decided that I wouldn’t go. It was for the best because I’ve even stopped going to his church on Sundays because I can’t understand the sermon since it’s all in Xhosa. I’ve been going back to the English speaking church I went to before when I was here (its amazing by the way). It’s just really frustrating to wake up Sunday morning and get really excited about hearing the word, then go to church and sit and listen to the preacher speak what sounds like gibberish to you as you look around at everyone else really getting into what he’s saying and enjoying it. That doesn’t help my spiritual growth in any way. In fact, it hinders it. So just like we decided about Sundays, we decided that I would spend Easter weekend going to my English church where I can hear and understand the word. It wasn’t as much of an experience as going to Paarl would have been because we just had a regular Sunday church service, no four day long revival. But, it was still really great. For the first time in a really long time I truly thought about Jesus as a man and not an idea and thought about what he went through. I really thought about the sacrifice he made for us and it illed me with such gratitude. I don't know if i've ever thought about Jesus as a man before. I always think of him as a metaphor or a symbol for some reason. So this was really an eye opener for me. And I prayed a prayer of thanks.
For this entire 4 day weekend everywhere I went I could just feel Easter in the air. It was like Christmas time, but hot and really REALLY focused on Jesus. Not like the American commercialized Christmas that I’ve grown to know and love. I basically relaxed all weekend. I prayed and read a lot of the bible. I was able to be a blessing to the kids on Friday, but ill get into that later. Also, we had a braii at the house on Friday night which was really fun. My friend Lerato came over. We had tons of great food and great conversation. The weather was great that night and the stars looked absolutely beautiful above the fire. Mpho slept over Friday night so Saturday morning we woke up and it was such a gorgeous day so we had morning prayer out in the garden under the sun then just sat out there on the bed we have in our garden and talked for hours as we enjoyed one of the last days of the hot sun before winter comes. We then got dinner and watched a movie. She left, and I read my book and went to sleep I am currently reading a book called Commited by Elizabeth Gilbert. She is the author of the infamous Eat, Pray, Love which was SUCH an AMAZING book. One of my absolute favs! I am enjoying Commited, but its not really what I expected. Its very different from Eat, Pray, Love which is great, but a little too different for my liking. This book is a bit intellectual for me. I don’t really do intellectual…
But, all that being said, I think people who are engaged, married, or divorced would love it.
Sunday we went to church, then out to lunch at the waterfront, but I woke up sick that morning so I couldn’t fully enjoy either. I’ve been feeling sick ever since. I thought it was just a cold, but I must have caught something from one of the kids… The kids, they deserve a whole new post of their own…